Inle Lake

An early start again as we got a taxi to the airport at Bagan which was only 2 km from the centre of town. We had a flight with a company called Golden Myanmar, a local company so we did not know what to expect. The airport was tiny and had a short runway so could only take turbo prop planes. Security was relaxed and a bus took us to the plane waiting on the runway. Once boarded we had to wait an hour on the runway as they said that weather conditions were not favourable but with the amount of ground support staff coming and going I think there was an issue with the plane which made us a bit nervous. When we arrived after 40 minutes the weather was perfect so go figure on that. The planes are old so bound to get a few issues now and again but it got us there safely so we can’t complain. At the airport which was in the middle of nowhere called Heho there was no buses so had to get a rip-off taxi into town at Inle lake to the nearest town called Nyuang Shwe which was a small dusty laid back town. We were early at the hotel so had to wait for our room to be made up so they gave us green tea and fruit to keep us occupied. When the room was ready at the Aquaruis Inn we were really pleased and it was beautiful and the owners made us feel really welcomed.

These 2 loved to neck a few beers at the beer station. 

Now settled in we cruised around town and booked a boat ride for the next day with one of the local dudes hanging around by the river who spoke good English and gave us a killer price as there was a serious lack of tourists around. In fact everywhere we've been so far there has been a lack of tourists and the locals we spoke to thought it was down by at least 50% from last year. We can only think people have been put off by all the bad press the country has received concerning the Rakhine crisis so due to safety fears or maybe for a moral standing have decided not to travel here.

The early morning departure on the boat was cold which we knew it would be but did not realise just how cold it was this time in the morning in an open longboat. Coupled with that it looked like rain so half an hour into the journey we decided to abort and try another day.

Mo the boatman loved his backhanders from all the stall holders we visited.

We did manage to hire some boneshaker bicycles from an old couple near the hotel but after 20 minutes Kathy was panting and exhausted. After taking the mick out of her for being so out of shape I offered to swap bike and soon realised the back brake was binding on and making it twice as hard to pedal so had to retract my accusations about her lack of fitness. We took the bikes back and then tried to swap it with another but after riding his whole fleet of 15 bikes none came up to the grade. To be frank they were Chinese built pieces of crap in varying stats of dilapidation. After we made him pull all his bikes out of storage and stopped him eating his dinner we found a bike that would do so went back to the hotel to pick up a few bits and as we parked up the kick stand snapped off!

 A Burmese speed hump.

We decided it was not a good idea to go far on these bikes as they were likely to fall apart so just explored around town for the day loading our fridge up with beer. We got the girls from the hotel to cable tie the stand to the frame and returned the bikes under the cover of darkness to the old man and made a hasty get-away before he sussed out that it was broken.

That night we went to the night market which was a low key affair with mostly food stalls banging out the same old greasy fast food options. Here we spied a dog who was bouncing up and down to the beat of the disco being blasted out from a cocktail bar. It made us laugh as we thought it was a trick he had picked up to get people to give him food as he was a stray. As we were laughing at him busting some moves next to a group of Burmese, one of them informed us that he had swallowed some poison which had damaged his nervous system making him bounce up and down uncontrollably. Two of his friends had died from the same poison. Taking pity on this dog for laughing at him we decided to adopt him and called him Disco then every night we were at the night market we bought him some meat off the stalls and fed him as he looked staving. He must have been grateful as on our last day as we were leaving to our next destination and were getting in the taxi, he was outside the hotel gate to say goodbye.

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Hey Mister do you want to buy some of this tourist crap I can't get anyone to buy?

When we did eventually find some bikes that were roadworthy from another agent next day, we rode down to a floating village on the lake which was about 10km away along the west side of the lake. It was really fascinating watching all the goings on as all the houses are on stilts in the lake and are not joined at all so the only way to get around is by boat. We ended up at a stilted cafe to have some lunch then had a debate on where we thought that the waste from the toilets ended up as there was no plumbing , just a chute straight into the lake. Next to the toilets we saw 2 men in the water digging the lake bed up to make an artificial garden with their bare hands. Kathy then needed the toilet. We departed soon after, before the men digging got her pee pee on their hands. It does make you wonder though that all the waste from the village must go into the lake and from that lake the villagers are catching their fish and growing their crops from the very same water. With the amount of people living there and the area that the lake covers is not that vast, coupled with the fact it does not rain hardly at all for 9 months of the year, I can’t help thinking that a disaster is not too far away. On the way back to the hotel it started to rain funny enough so at least Kathy’s pee got diluted to save the men digging in the lake corroded hand syndrome and any 3 eyed fish being born. We pulled over into a local roadside shop and they had one of those swinging garden chairs out front so bought a couple of beers and sat in the swinging chair watching people coming, staring at the two drunks in the chair, buying their booty and leaving which went on for about an hour until the rain stopped. We then carried on and found a local passed out in the middle of the road drunk as a skunk with his bottle of grog next to him. Trucks were coming down the road and swerving around him as his legs were sticking out into the middle of the road. We did think about moving him to safer ground but was worried about him becoming a snake snack being so incapacitated so just took a photo and left him there to take his chances, he seemed happy enough in his delirium.

' Ah yes, this one has the bouquet of toilet duck'

 We then thought a visit to the local winery was in order to taste what Burma had to offer. We slogged it up to the top of the hill and built up a good thirst so quenched it by trying a selection of wines picked for us with some peanuts to cleanse our pallet. The reds were truly awful, tasting like burnt wood and toilet cleaner. The whites were better but tasted very similar to the cheap bottles of Hock we used to buy when we were younger in the 80’s from Sainsbury’s to get drunk on the cheap. The prices they were asking for the bottles were not cheap at all so declined to buy any stock and lazily swerved our way back to the hotel to sleep it off.

Eventually on the 4^th day we took our promised boat tour of the lake which was alright but became tedious as the day progressed as it always ended up with us being hassled by either a silversmith, weaver, cigar roller, umbrella maker, and so on to buy their products. The best part was our boatman/guide who we called Mo (out of the Simpsons as he had a massive underbite on his jawline). We were dumped at an overpriced stilted cafe for lunch while our boatman (Mo) disappeared and reappeared after lunch to receive his backhander from the owner. It was a nice day out though visiting all the villages, looking into village life on the lake but it was very staged and tourists were turned about with remarkable ease. As it was only £8 for the whole day being driven around in a boat so we can’t complain.

You might as well pee off the balcony because that is where it goes. 

Eventually our time in Inle Lake came to an end but we really enjoyed staying there as it was so easy and relaxing and the people were so friendly. Next we move into the mountains to Kalaw for some trekking.