Filipe Carillo Puerto

We had no issues with the trip from Bacalar to FCP with Mayab bus company. It took 1.5 hours on a very empty bus that had poor air-con but uneventful. It dropped us off in the middle of  the town at the bus station and as it was so hot we paid a Taxi the 80p he asked for to take us to the hotel which was not far but the sun was at its strongest and we are old and weak so took easy street. Funny enough the first taxi we approached was so drunk he could not remember where our hotel was as he made excuses with his glassy eyes and drooping eyelids, which  is quite a feat as there are only 3 hotels in town and ours was the biggest. I guess he don't like gringo money. Worryingly though he picked up another guy straight after us and had no hesitation taking him to his destination. Perhaps he was concerned about our safety as he was too drunk to drive properly. What a nice man!

Good church goers always like to bash the crap out of a Santa pinata in spring.

   The hotel was on the edge of town, called Turquesa Maya and was well appointed and the room was huge with a kitchenette area. The town, even though being the capital of the Yucatan Peninsular, was a small affair with not much going on. We walked into town in about 15 minutes, poked around the market which had a healthy trade in machetes and pinatas.We also grabbed lunch at a typical non-tourist greasy spoon that we spun the menu roulette and ordered 2 things we had no idea what is was as it was in Spanish and local food only but turned out pleasing. Now we know what Fundidos and Casadillas are. As you would expect they both contained corn flour tortillas which it is impossible to order anything without having a pile of tortillas accompany it.

The street art was impressive.

   We then found a HSBC bank which allowed us to make a larger than average withdrawal for cash with a small fee which was a nice surprise after all the hundreds of pounds we have had to pay in bank charges over the past year. That's one factor you never expect to budget for when you come away, especially when you take cards that charge no fee on the English side but the foreign banks don't mind charging you between 2.5% to over 5% to take out your own money. Last time we travelled we never paid a penny in withdrawal fees.

Typical church from ye old times.

   We then took a walk around the main square which was nice with a free museum which featured heavily on women's rude body parts and some Mayan history which also had a lot of women's 'bits' incorporated in the exhibits. Strange! There must be some very frustrated artists in this area. We then walked a couple of blocks to the main exhibit the town is famous for.....the Talking Cross. Here was an overgrown park which contained a wooden cross from the 18th century which as legend has it, 'spoke' to the towns folk to do battle with the local bad guys in government and 5 years later  after lots of people died they won. They hailed it as a miracle as you would being god fearing catholic but Kathy and I were more cynical so went to check it out. We both spoke to the cross in English and Spanish but I can report the cross was unresponsive at both attempts so have to conclude one of 2 things. The cross did not like atheists or someone locally has got a fertile imagination. After being so cruelly shunned by such a legendary symbol we skulked off to the shops and bought some goodies to munch and drink and retire to the hotel to escape the heat again.

Not the talkative type.

Next day we attempted to go to an ecological park nearby that had a cool lake to swim in but the only way to get there is by taxi and we could not convince a taxi to take us there, wait for us for a few hours and then bring us back. Being in the middle of nowhere we did not want to be stranded so it was important that we had a homeward bound ride. I think the issue was the taxi driver did not want to drive 3km down a dirt road. Instead Daz went for a haircut (stop snickering at the back please) and visited our favourite fruitier who was so enamoured by our repeated visits that he decided to give half his stock away to us for free for whatever reason. I think he liked us asking him what all the stuff was called in Spanish.  We went to order a pizza to be delivered and suddenly the heavens opened and it really did come down on us. We struggled to get back to the hotel in the downpour and on the way Daz's trousers became so sodden that they fell down on the street so he had to hold them up and try to run at the same time. Back at the hotel we were treated to amazing light show from the storm that continued into the early hours. Our next destination is going to be Tulum.

A friendly welcome from the local market.

Lake Bacalar

A nice easy transition for us this time as we caught the midday ADO bus for the 1.5 hour journey to Bacalar Lake. This time the bus was packed out with people standing in the aisle and I was lucky enough to have a local Mexican with half his diner slopped down his rather large belly being rubbed in my face as he stood next to me in the aisle.. From the smell of it I think it was Taco sauce with a hint of pig manure and body odour. Hmmmm.....my favourito!

Kathy browsed in here to find 'something for the weekend'.

  At Bacalar the bus dropped us off on the main road so we walked into town to our hotel which was not far, maybe 1km but it turned out a bad idea as the heat was intense. With the added weight of the rucksacks we only just made it before we both expired with heat stroke in the middle of the road.
  Posada Casa Madrid was a cool place to stay with the necessary air-con, a terrace where we could hang a hammock and some deck chairs which doubled up as rocking chairs. Never seen that before!
  We walked into town after unpacking and explored to find it laid back and very agreeable if a little spread out and sparse as it was quite a small town. There was a lakeside fort which was pleasant and a pretty town square which is where we found a roadside stall selling tacos so tucked into a few of them for lunch. We took it easy on the hot sauce though as it was lethal and with the afternoon temperature in the high 30's it would not take much for us to totally overheat by running out of sweat. The day drifted on by and so did we ambling about but the heat was too much so we retired back to hammocks and air-con only to venture out for Burritos and beers for dinner on the square where we were treated to a fire juggling show while we ate.

More tacos.

   Next day was so hot by 8am that it scared us to leave the room but we knew the lake offered a cool swim so headed that way. The public bathing area was rammed with families being a Sunday so did not look inviting. So we walked another 10 minutes down the road and came to an ecological park where we paid our 12p entrance fee and had a beautiful access to the lake. Here we swam in the warm clear waters for a couple of hours until it was late enough in the day to go and buy our onward bus tickets from the ADO office. Dinner followed which was a Alambras which is like a plate of food and a pile of tacos (which are soft here, not crispy as in England) and you get a few bowls of condiments which contain limes, pickles, salsa and mouth burning sauces and make your own tacos. Very nice indeed.

Southend pier was in need of renovation.

  Next day we really thought we should make an effort and see the place and get some exercise as swinging in a hammock was becoming very obsessive. We left early for the 2 mile walk to the Azul cenote. This is a deep limestone hole which is feed by a natural spring. The day soon became hot,hot,hot and the walk labour some but we made it sweating profusely to the cenote. We paid our £1 entry fee and were rewarded by a stunning sight of beautiful clear water lake surrounded by uninterrupted jungle.

The azul cenote. 90 metres deep.

We stayed here for a few hours taking in lunch at the adjacent restaurant and then headed for the dreaded walk back to town but were distracted by a nice spot by the lake. We again paid our £1 entry fee and found it what was called Cocalitos where it had unusual mushroom type formations in the water that just about broke the surface. Very strange to look at but beautiful. The lake here was outstanding and we had never seen such a paradise. The water crystal clear with bright white beaches and in the middle they had swings. Photos can't do it justice with the different hues of blue in the reflection of the sun.

Rock formations or aliens?

 After a couple of hours we continued our walk back to town but again got distracted by a beer shop and a pier that extended into another great vista so done the decent thing a took sunset bevvies on the lake. Eventually we made it back to base and were too exhausted to go out for dinner but did make it back up to the main road for another Alambras and some more cold ones as it stays hot here into the night. In fact it's hot all night.

One hell of a swingers party here.

  The following day we slept in as we had exhausted ourselves from the hot walk the day before. We sauntered the morning away doing some washing as our clothes were becoming smelly quickly with the constant sweating. Yuk! More tacos for lunch followed, then a walk down to the public bathing area which was free and also commanded one of the best spots on the lake view wise. There was a nice pier which projected into the lake to afford some excellent swimming opportunities. After a few hours here we again hit the beer shop for our sunset pier beers.

Ever seen water so beautiful?

 That night we seeked out a pizza as tacos and burritos were getting a bit tiresome. We even had a fire show from a couple of street performers. Back at the hotel we squared up our bill which for once was less than we expected to pay which was a nice surprise. Not a lot of adventures here in Bacalar as it was such a nice easy going straightforward kind of place and we really enjoyed just kicking back doing nothing but tomorrow we are off to our next destination which is a wild card as it is not a tourist destination so maybe we will witness what the real Mexico is like or just get too far out of our depth as usual in Felippe Carillo Puerto.

The streets had lots of very good street art to look at.

Mahahaul, Mexico

After our quick pitstop at Chetumel we jumped on the ADO bus 2nd class to Mahahaul which took 2.5 hours and cost £3.50 each. First thing we noticed was how comfy the seats were, that the air-con actually worked, the driver had a neat uniform and didn't drive like he was in the Cannonball Run films. Also the roads did not have big bomb craters in them so the journey was most pleasant even enjoyable at a push. It's funny what you get used to.

Now our budget was being squeezed we had to downgrade our accommodation options. 

  The bus dropped us off in the middle of town which was a bonus as it was less than 5 minutes walk to our hostel Jardin Mahahaul. Here we had a nice room overlooking the gardens that seemed to be jammed packed with all types of lizards scampering about. There were a few hammocks scattered about which is always pleasing and a small kitchen to rustle up some quick munchies.We always do a for fun check list when we arrive at a new hotel or hostel just to make sure it is culturally authentic and not to corporate.  Here it is.....

The lizard garden at the hostel.

  Stray barking dogs into the early hours.....check.
  Unfinished construction work starting loudly at the crack of dawn.....check
  Annoying loud guest in the room next door who likes to move furniture in the early hours....check
  Loud bar/disco/restaurant blasting base heavy EDM until 4am ....check.
  Heavy loud traffic whizzing past your window all night blasting horns and with no exhaust
   pipe....check.
   Gangs of drunk locals hanging around outside your window until the early hours shouting       loudly....check.
   All good here then! Sleeping is for wimps anyway.

The supermodel contest was into the final candidates.

Luckily, the accommodation here was peaceful with only the slight annoyance of some hefty woman and her lardy husband who insisted on mustling in on the kitchen at every opportunity to cook huge meals and give out 'I will kill you if you touch that frying pan' looks at every other guest!
After unpacking we went to explore the town which did not take long as it was tiny. It had a lovely walk way spanning the length of the beach which was probably the whitest sand with the clearest sea on our travels so far. And it was all fringed with lots of palm trees swaying in the breeze supplying lots of cool shady retreats right up to the sea front. And best of all it was out of season so we had the place to ourselves bar a few hardy souls who did not have proper jobs. There was not much to do here except to kick back and enjoy the sand and sea. So we did. Sun loungers sit in the crystal clear water and waiters bring you beers for a £1 each or whatever you desire.

Lizard king.

 We spent most of our time on these sun loungers reading some books we borrowed from the hostel and ordering drinks. Well, there is nothing else to do. We did take some bikes out one afternoon to the local lighthouse to check out the huge cruise ships that dock on the other side of the bay but the bikes were in poor condition with no brakes and Kathy described hers as so painful she named it Fanny Breaker. I was not so bothered as my family jewels were still numb from being smashed by the broken saddle in Belmopan.

Fanny breaker in action.

We spent the rest of the days talking to the dudes at the hostel and eating tacos, enchiladas,burritos and heaps of guacamole and nachos which we overindulged in as they sure know how to make a mean guacamole here.

Talcum powder for sand.

One observation we have noticed about central America and especially Mexico is that it does not matter how poor you are, how ramshackle your wood cabin on stilts is, how many disassembled cars you have in your front yard or how many flea bitten stray dogs your kids may play with, you can always afford a bad ass mega boom speaker system and the electricity to run it all full volume all day. You gotta get your priorities right!
Well I think we have had enough of this pleasing backwater coastal town now, so we asked about a bus at the local shop and ended up buying 2 tickets for tomorrow for Bacalar which is going to be our next destination. 

  

Chetumel, Mexico (Belize to Mexico border crossing)

It was a leisurely morning when we got up late, had breakfast and packed up the rucksacks which are starting to look a bit worse for wear lately. We could have got an early boat to Belize City but you have to obey the rules on Caye Caulker and 'take it easy' which we were happy to comply with. Another moody sky today which threatened rain later but the boat trip was dry for the 45 minute crossing. At the boat terminal we haggled with a tour agent for some cheaper bus tickets to Chetumel in Mexico. We were considering the chicken bus but details were so vague on how to get there and timings were non existent. I dare say there are plenty of buses going north from here if we had gone to the bus terminal but decided again to take the easy option and book a tourist shuttle even though it was extremely overpriced at £16 each for a 4 hour journey. The bus was unsurprisingly half full when we departed which is not surprising considering the charge so we all had a double seat each to spread out. The bus made decent time until we hit the border where we had to pay a $20 departure fee each to get our exit stamp. Next it was a 2 mile no man land's drive to the Mexico immigration which is where the fun began. The present rules are that if you stay for less than 7 days than entry is free. But if you stay longer than you have to buy an immigration card which set us back $31 each. A very expensive day. The rest of the bus had to wait for us as it was a complicated procedure to obtain this tourist card and everybody else on the bus were lightweight 7 day flying out of Cancun types so did not have to pay the fee. As it goes we were not to upset as we are planning to stay for about a month so it is cheaper than what it cost us for visas travelling around Asia. One thing though was that we were not very popular when we returned from the immigration process to the rest of the group as some of them had bus connections to Cancun that night and we had taken so long to process our documents that they were going to miss their connections.

In search of those dreamy beaches of Mexico.

  Of course, the bus dropped us in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of Chetumel but said we could have a free beer for our troubles which funny enough got them off the hook somewhat. We needed a taxi to get into town but had no money so had to get ripped off extremely by the bus driver for some local Peso's to pay a taxi. There was a guy hanging around the entrance who was a taxi driver decided as he was the only one there to rip us off for a ride into town. I tried to negotiate with him but the slimy toad had dollar signs in his eyes. Now I was getting miffed at being ripped off all the time as money seemed to be flying out my wallet at a rate I had no control over so I stepped into the road, flagged a taxi down and in my worst Spanish got him to agree a fee half of what Mr slimy toad wanted. He got the hump, jumped into his taxi a wheel spun off. Good riddance amigo!
  We arrived at the hotel which was pleasant enough and went into town, not bothering to unpack.  Money was quickly obtained with no hassle and dinner was ordered from a restaurant which the owner surprisingly spoke English having a relative in Liverpool and the food was cheap and top notch. That surprised us. We retired back to the hotel and grabbed some beers and to our delight they had a smart t.v. so were able to watch Netflix which had a interesting series called 'Strange Things' which was like a Goonies type thing. We watched a couple of episodes then retired for the night.
  Next day after a surprising good included breakfast we hit the town to withdraw more money and exchange up our remaining Belizian Dollars which proved difficult as the banks were not interested and had to use a shady hole in the wall type place that basically screwed us over with their commission and rate. Next was a phone SIM that we got from Moviestar as they were the first shop we came across but had a deal for unlimited data, calls and text for £8 for the month so took that.
  Then we had to rush back to pack before check out time, hail a roadside taxi to take us to the bus station to catch a bus to Mahahaul which there was only 3 buses a day but we could not believe  it when they said one was leaving in 10 minutes. About time we had some luck. Next stop Mahahaul for some beach time. 

Belmopan to Caye Caulker

Still stranded at Tiny houses in Belmopan we called up the owner who very kindly picked us up and dispatched us downtown to the bus station for our next leg to Belize city. First I had to go to the phone company to find out why the phone was not working, then down to the bank to draw out more money as Belize was proving rather more expensive than its counterpart central American neighbours. (apart from Costa Rica)

Wish you were here?

 Just as we got to the bus terminal a bus pulled up and I asked to guy if he was going to Belize city and he said yes so we climbed aboard. It was a nice bus with air-con and just over an hour later we arrived in the centre of the city for the sum of £2 each. Then we had to get a rip off taxi to go 800 meters to the sea taxi dock as all the info we received strongly advised us to not walk the streets with rucksacks on as we would be targeted by muggers and con men. At the sea taxi dock, San Pedro water taxis were doing a promotion to allow us transit to Caye Caulker which was a reef island in the Caribbean sea for a bargain £5 each. The boat ended up being a speedboat for the manic 45 minutes transfer, sitting in the open midday sun whizzing along in a beautiful clear turquoise sea. It was an exhilarating ride and ultimately stunning passing all the pristine Caye's that litter the reef shelf.

Whizzing along in the back of a speed boat.

  We collected our luggage when we arrived from the ramshackle beach hut and walked the 5 minutes to the hotel resort as they don't have any vehicles here apart from electric golf buggies and cycles.
 The staff at the hotel were a bit unprofessional when we checked in at the Tropical Paradise resort as  the room did not resemble what we had booked on line, but they were not having any of it so we had to suck it up but to be fair for the price we paid it was a huge room with air-con so we were happy with that.
  After unpacking for the umpteenth time on our travels (it gets so monotonous packing and unpacking rucksacks) we explored the island which we found to our liking. No rubbish that had plagued most of the islands in Asia and friendly laid back locals. All the buildings were pristine and the white sand glowing. It was a very pretty and photogenic place. The sea was a beautiful glowing luminescent blue and the coast was dotted with palm trees swaying in the cooling breeze. It was pretty close to paradise for an island town. We ended up at the end of the reef at a place called the Split where we purchased some cocktails and sat with all the other party souls waiting for the sunset to the background of what I am told, very loud Soca music. It has nothing to do with football.

Blood red sunsets, Shepperd's delight.

   The sunset was super duper but the Soca was not to our rocking roots so cocktails sunk we headed into town to get some food. One thing we did notice about this place is it is very expensive as everything has to be bought in from the mainland by speedboat but they did not seem to bother the free spending yanks who come here in their droves as it is only a short hop from Miami. On the way back we bumped into a tour agent who we called Pirate as he had a dodgy looking gold ear-ring and some tall stories. He convinced us to go on a snorkeling trip next day as he promised us swimming with manta rays and sharks which was on our bucket list.  We signed up with him and headed out to dinner which was poor Chinese affair.

I like their honesty.

   Next day was hot as usual, but with a cooling breeze along the coast, keeping the palm trees busy. We explored more of the island which was equally as scenic but by midday the heat was intense so we headed onto the hotel jetty to grab a sunbed and swim in the sea. The sea was a bit choppy but a lovely colour. The breeze was stiff so kept us cool. While we were there a pair of gay guys sat next to us  and were taking pictures on their I-phones. When they sat down, the I phone fell out of his pocket and between the jetty planks and into the deep blue sea. Not sure if I-phones are water proof or not but he was gutted. They did not seem bothered about trying to recover the phone though, I guess they had a good insurance. That night we went for a more traditional dinner which was some yummy burritos and coleslaw with sweet mashed potato.

Paradise incorporated.

Next day it was pouring down with rain in the morning so we stayed in and watched some poor American T.V.. The weather cleared by midday so we went to grab lunch at a local 'jack' shop. "A what? you  say. A jack is a cross between a pancake and a pitta that is fried and filled with various fillings. Really cheap, tasty and super filling. The clouds were still heavy in the sky even though it was super hot so decided that the sea was too choppy for our boat tour to the shark reef so cancelled which was a shame as we were really looking forward to it. The afternoon we spent on the roof lookout of the hotel catching up on some research and reading some magazines we took from reception. Again in the afternoon the heavens opened again and were trapped in the room where I had to endure 'Fifty Shades of Grey' for a 3rd time in as many months. The rain cleared quickly and we patrolled the town but it was super quiet being a Sunday, everything being shut apart from the local church which was blasting out some Bible Bashing good vibes so we had a quick dance and retired back to the hotel after dinner. Our next destination is Chetumel in Mexico.

Obey the rules.

Belmopan, Belize

Again we decided to splash out on the bus to Belmopan in Belize and booked the deluxe cross border bus. We were surprised to find only 3 other passengers with us so had plenty of room to spread out, with air-con and fully reclining chairs the good life was back. It did costs us £10 each though when we could of got the chicken bus for $4 each but these cross border buses make things so easy it’s hard to resist. The border formalities were quick and straight forward and no fees were charged so happy days there. The bus picked us up after immigration and we were in Belmopan by 11.30, a quick 3.5hr journey.

Such a warm welcome to a country we had never heard of until a couple of months before today.

The first thing we noticed when leaving the bus is that the locals had changed from Latino looking to Rastafarian types. Second thing we noticed that was our biggest boost for ages was everybody spoke English. What a relief we could take a rest from our bad Spanish for a few days. Being that all the shops were in English, we quickly found a bank to withdraw currency called the Belizian Dollar, which displays proudly our Queens head on it. Not sure why it’s called a dollar though. Then we went to the solo phone providers headquarters as this was the only place you could buy a SIM for the phone, take a ticket and wait your turn in the queue to buy it. Formalities done and the phone up and running we went to the market and had some traditional Belizian fayre which included rice and beans, sweet potato mash and fried plantain with a side salad. It was delicious and only £2 each for a big plateful. Then we grabbed a taxi which can only be described as something they built on Scrapheap challenge, the driver having to open the boot door by shorting out one of the rear tail lights which was missing anyway to load our luggage.

Our neighbours were friendly enough, especially if you wanted to buy ganja but very poor and messy. 

 He dropped us off at our accommodation which was Tiny Houses. We went for something a bit different this time. We booked a small house in the jungle which had 2 bedrooms , a kitchen and bathroom which was self contained on a plot of 5 separate houses. They were really cute and being in the jungle had a great outlook.

We even had a deluxe swimming pool at our accommodation but no inflatables. Boo!

 The only problem though was we were a little stranded so got the owner to meet us and we persuaded him to take us down to the supermarket…..wait for us…..and then take us back again. Top bloke! They did supply some cycles for us but when I tried one out, the saddle slipped around and made a mess of my crown jewels so that was the end of ever starting a family. We did find another couple staying there that informed us that if we waited at a certain point a Busito which is a minivan would come along to take us into town. So that's what we did, waiting on the side of a dusty, barren jungle road in the blistering heat waiting for Busito to come which we had no idea what it looked like or if and when it would show up at all.

Waiting expectantly for an unexpected bus. 

 But after 10 minutes a van pulled up which looked like it was the loser in Scrapheap Challenge 2 and beeped for us to get in so we did. Inside it looked like some drug addicts had stripped any thing of value out of it and just left the chassis and some unpadded seats. The windscreen had more cracks and splits in it than an ancient oak table leaving me wondering how the driver could actually see any of the road ahead.

The local shop lacked much stock but if you wanted pineapple than you were in luck.

 After paying our 50p fare each to a very relaxed dude type ganja induced driver we explored the centre of town trying to buy a padlock to replace one we lost in transit. An easy mission you would think? After frequenting 10 shops we still drew a blank. One thing we need to point out here. Belmopan is the capital city of Belize, I use that term loosely as it is no city. In fact I have seen bigger town centres in the Welsh hills where I grew up. It was like a vacuum. There was nothing. The shops harked back to the 60’s and 70’s in England, with basic stock, lack of choice and limited imported goods. The town centre you could walk around in 5 minutes and see it all. It was tiny. It was also set out in a very bizarre fashion, being set out around a car park, which doubled up as a market 2 days a week. In the car park was the bus station. There are no schedules, no ticket offices and no information. People just sit around chilled out hoping a bus will show up at some point. The whole vibe of this town was RELAX….there is no rush, no emergency, no stress just good times.

The smell from this would give you instant retching.

 After exploring every nook and cranny of the town centre we headed to a tour agent as we wanted to go tubing in a cave complex nearby but it was impossible to get a bus to go there. We walked about where it should have been, even asked a neighbouring hotel who said it was on the street but we never found it but bumped into a shop selling beers and rum so stocked up on that and waited on the side of the road for the return Busito…..and waited…..and waited, but nothing showed up so we had to walk the long hot road back to base carrying all our heavy booty. That nearly killed us so the rest of the day was spent chilling out as the heat of the day can be really oppressive. That night we had a few visitors in the house as you do in the jungle, the usual critters, gecko’s, bugs, mosquitoes, bitey beetle things, flying stingy things which we dispatched mostly with a big squashy book thingy but the most disturbing one was when a huge scorpion showed up in the kitchen! That was a showstopper I can tell you as we danced around it in bare feet trying to get it out the door.

The Cheech and Chong 'special' express ready to depart to cloud 9.

Next day after the best nights sleep we had in ages being so quiet here in the jungle, we again caught the Busito into town, then another one to Guanacaste National park. A patch of pristine jungle by the confluence of 2 rivers. Here we met a top bloke called Devon who was the ranger who introduced us to all what the habitat contained. On our walk around we sighted an Agouti, a huge Moniter lizard which caused me heart palpitations when it darted out the jungle across my path, a snake which we think was a Fer De Lance which can easily kill a human with their venom. Also we saw huming birds up close, native wood-creepers (like woodpeckers) lots of small lizards and huge morpho butterflies. It was a hot and sweaty walk though so after that we found the most beautiful clear blue jungle river so stripped off and dived into the surprisingly chilled water. Here we were joined by some of the locals from a neighbouring jungle village, but they did did not bother us, just done their own thing, washing their horses and doing death defying jumps off the banks into the river. It was a beautiful day out and so noncommercial. We only saw 2 other tourists all day.

Jungle river swimming hole.

 Back at the house we found where the scorpion got in so plugged the hole up so we didn’t get a repeat performance again. We spent the evening planning our next destination for the morning as there is nothing to do in town here , and we are not too sure how safe it is to walk around here at night. The people here are unbelievably friendly but they are also extremely poor so there is always going to be an element of danger walking the streets that have no street lights, everybody seems to carry a machete, and you never see any police about. Common sense prevails. Our next destination is Caye Caulker.

Lanquin to Flores by bus

From Lanquin we caught the 8am microbus that picked us up from the hotel, and being first on board we bagged the best seats for this expected 9 hours sweatbox of a journey. When we arrived in town we were pleasantly surprised to find the bus was only half full so everybody had room to stretch out which was lucky because the seats were incredibly uncomfortable and being a plastic type finish made you extra sweaty to enhance your already miserable experience. After 2 hours my arse was killing me and again we had a driver who thought putting on the a/c was not a luxury we deserved. All the windows were open but the air coming into the bus was like standing next to steel blast furnace in Sheffield so no respite was forthcoming. When we stopped for fuel, I asked the driver to put the a/c on and he said that he could not as people kept opening the windows. I closed them all for the lazy bar steward as he could not be bothered and he agreed to put it on. Soon as he did some dozy ( I am ashamed to say) English mungbean opened her window…...which is when the driver quickly turned around and gave her a mouthful.

After 8 hours Kathy was loving the hot and sweaty minibus.

The journey was never ending, the air-con feeble in the heat and barely noticeable. After 6 hours the road run out and we descended onto a dirt road which bordered a river with no bridge. We waited for a makeshift ferry to come across to collect us, you know the sort…...the ones you see on the news where it says “Two English tourists died today when an overloaded ferry on a river in Guatemala capsized due to poor maintenance procedures” type of thing.

Waiting for the ferry of certain drowning to come across.

 We did eventually arrive in Flores after 9 hours but they would not let us off the bus until our new bestest buddies ever tour agents hopped on and gave us the super duper hard sell for trips to Tikal. We declined their offers but they were persistent, even jumping on the bus with us, off the bus with us, walking with us to the boat jetty and even phoning the hotel to send a boat for us. After we got on the boat we lost him…..Thank god for that!

Our escape vessel from the over amorous tour agent.

The Posada San Miquel was on the far side of the lake, off of Flores for sleep reasons as Flores is an Island that never sleeps. We had a great room with a balcony loaded with hammocks overhanging onto the shore of the lake with a total uninterrupted view of Flores. Beautiful.

Ted was admiring the view of Flores from our balcony.

Next day was the usual 6am wake up service supplied by the sun streaming through curtains that could not even keep moonlight out as they were so thin. The lake was beautiful that time in the morning and we took breakfast overlooking it. Soon the heat started to build and climaxed at 39c that day which was way too hot for a couple of pale skinned Brits. We took a boat over to Flores Island for 50p each and started to explore the island but quickly succumbed to the heat. We retreated into a cool looking courtyard and ordered a couple of traditional Guatemalan breakfasts which we has become very fond off as they were cheap and filling. Then we tried to explore some more but only made it as far as the ice-cream shop. After that it was the bakers for some treats and eventually we made it to the top of the hill to the main town square which was pleasant if a tad boring with a scattering of locals trying to stay cool in the shade. The heat was too much for us so we submitted to the yellow ball in the sky and headed back to the hotel , but on the way booked a tour to Tikal and our onward bus journey tickets. Back at the hotel, I was straight in the lake for a swim as the water was surprising clean but Kathy settled for a soak in the shower. The day fizzled out with hammock swinging in earnest and a surprisingly cheap, tasty and filling meal in the hotel restaurant which bucked a trend. A walk down the shop followed and we are pleased to report 6 large cans of beer only set us back £3.60 which kept us supping in the hammocks until late.

The jungle seemed to swallow up the Mayan structures at Tikal.

Another 6am early rise next day, a boat to Flores again and jumping onto our bus to take us to Tikal for our guided tour. An hour and a half later we arrived after the usual start/stop journey where nobody knows what's going on and disembarked to a very empty sight. I was surprised as it is billed as Guatemala’s premier attraction so expected the throngs….but no…..there was nobody. We walked through registration, got our wrist bands for £15 each and followed our guide into the thick jungle. Our guide Ceasar who had a unusual New York style twang to his accent led us through at a fairly leisurely pace through the monuments and temples. The heat was very oppressive though and sapped our energy and enthusiasm so we spent a lot of time admiring the monuments rather than climbing to the top of them which suited us fine. Ceasar done his best to keep us interested in the history of it all but ran out of steam as the day progressed and after 4 hours we were done which also suited us as well as we just wanted to doss about in the shade watching the Howler monkeys growl at all the passing tourists from their branches above us. It's a noise which I will never forget for its loudness and aggressiveness.

Climbing to the top was allowed but took extreme effort in the heat.

Tikal was not as we expected being so overgrown with jungle. The location was awesome but we both expected something more grandeur and complete to look at but were happy with what we saw as the site is massive so you could not visit all the structures in a day. Exhausted we both fell asleep on the return journey , glad of the air-con to revive our souls, and headed straight back to the hotel by 4.30pm. There the hammocks got another good work out, the Posada restaurant received our patronage again and that 6 cans of beer for £3.60 …...well who could turn down an offer like that.

Well that’s it for Guatemala as we decided to skip Rio Dulce/Livingstone which was going to be our next stop and use the time to visit Belize where we could have a welcome relief from our terrible Spanish as due to its history with the British Empire has luckily has its first language as English. Hooray!

Mayan structures are awesome.

Semuc Champey

Being the super suspicious characters we are, we withheld some payment to our tour operator Mikes Travels in case there was some scam coming around the corner to relieve us of more money. As the trip only cost £15 each, which included admission fees of £11 and a guide, transport, river tubing and waterfall jumping I was apprehensive about how he could promise so much with such a small price. After all you soon find out in life you only get what you pay for and if it is too cheap than it probably does not exist. Don't know who Mike was who owned the company but our guide was going to be the guy who sold us the package who I think was called Carlos but names come and go so quickly we forgot by the end of the day. We also had an issue with paying him as his 'office' was just the side passage in his house with an old rickety chair and a home made desk which did not inspire us it was a bonafide business but this is quite normal in the small ramshackle jungle town. We decided to meet Carlos at his office rather than our resort in case the transport did not show up, we could have it out with him on his home turf. Sure enough when we arrived at the prearranged time, Carlos was missing, just an empty can of beer sitting where he had once been the day before.

This bad ass guy was giving us a moody eye as we passed him on the trail.

 We took a seat anyway as we had nothing else to do wondering if we had been scammed or not. Soon after some young guy who we had never met showed up, jabbering Spanish at us and we just about managed to pick out that he knew about our booking. Unreassured, we sat there not having a clue what was going on, with that empty can of beer looking at us that we had probably paid for with our deposit and Carlos had enjoyed drinking, chuckling to himself about how stupid Brits are for handing over money to strangers in the jungle who pretend to be tour operators. Then 10 minutes later our hero Carlos showed up full of beans after sending off his latest instalment of onward bus passengers to their individual destinations and was back to take control of the day. "Vamos" he declares with gusto and next thing we knew a beaten up old pick up had pulled onto the kerb along with 2 young Germans who came from nowhere, and we all bundled into the back of the truck which had a strange roll bar arrangement which we quickly found out was to hold onto as sitting was definitely not an option. Off we roared deeper into the jungle along a road that looked like one that had been bombed in places or the road builders could just not be bothered to create a level road surface. The scenery was majestic along the half hour journey, as we picked up locals along the way and dropped them off, being thrown around in the back, frequently getting ' air time' as we tackled to uneven road at speed. To be honest it was scary but exhilarating at the same time. One wrong turn and we would be rolling down the side of the steep mountain to our deaths which made it all the more fun. The Germans were loving it as well and turned out being really cool guys who both spoke decent English.

Did you ever see a pool so clear and so pale blue?

  First stop were the caves. We knew we were going to get wet so hired some reef shoes as we felt our sandals were not going to cut it inside. Turned out it was an excellent decision as one of the German guys broke his sandal and ended up barefoot which looked a tad painful. What happens here in the caves is basically they are unlit, pitch black, so to help you find your way they give you a candle. It's very high tech stuff you know. Then our guide Carlos turned completely loco and painted our faces with candle grease into individual characters. I was Rambo, Kathy was the V for vendetta guy, and the Germans were Braveheart and Predator. Into the cave we bound, first in shallow water but later it went over our heads so we had to swim without quenching the candles in the water or you were plunged into your own personal dark patch. The guide led the way howling like a wolf and cackling away like a madman. For the next hour and a half we climbed a waterfall in the dark, had to slip through a tiny letterbox slot of cascading water into a blind dark recess of a pool and pull ourselves along guide ropes in dark caverns in water that we had no idea how deep it was. At the end there was a small pool where the guide encouraged you to climb to a ledge on the side of the cave and jump off what I estimate to be a 10-20ft drop into blackness which you had no idea how deep it was or if it was full of jagged rocks. I thought the guide would show us how to do it but no, he would not so there was no way I was going to do it as his entertainment but luckily the Germans were more gung ho and survived the jump so I plucked up the courage and jumped and glad to report no injuries were sustained but Kathy decided it was a foolish encounter and best left to the macho man crowd. Very wise. She did though get duped into wedging herself into a letterbox waterfall by the guide which shaved her hips down a couple of inches to allow her to plunge through the gap into the darkness before anybody else. We were also hopeless at keeping the candles alight so spent most of the time asking the guide for a light or just groping around in the darkness following the guide up ahead. It was the most mad and insane thing we have done for a long time but at the same time was an awesome and totally different experience. We loved it.

Kathy said the sweaty climb to the lookout was unromantic to my armpit hygiene.

   No time to rest though, it was off to the waterfall to climb another ledge and jump again into the river at the base of the waterfall. This time it was about 25ft high and in daylight but we still had no idea how deep the pool was. Luckily the mad cap Germans who clearly did not value their lives or take into account of the non existent health care that Guatemala provides, went first, and survived so I followed after being reassured my life would continue for the time being. Again Kathy decided such foolishness was best left to the testosterone crew. We swam around in the pools at the base of the waterfall, under it so you could go behind it then back to shore. We had never seen a pool of water with such a luminescent blue colour in our lives. It was stunning.
  But again, no time to rest as Carlos had us onto the inner tubes and out into the river to drift lazily down stream trying to avoid the large limestone rocks jutting out like monoliths along the coarse. Back to base and we handed back our reef shoes. Mine were ruined, with my big toe protruding through it highlighting my very painful broken off big toe nail. Kathy's were from Primark and survived very well. Go Primark!

Howler monkey get blase to the constant tourist attention.

  Next was a 40 minute break for lunch then we were handed over to another guide who also spoke good English and was even madder than Carlos. We can't remember his name but he had the most insane laugh - like a hyena on laughing gas. He took us up to the viewpoint for The Semuc Champey limestone falls which was a hot and energy sapping steep climb to the summit but we were rewarded with a troupe of howler monkeys crossing our path and a lizard who looked like it had come out of Jurassic park. Our guide kept us entertained with stories, showing us jungle medicinal plants, wild herbs and spices and just generally being a looney. He was a great laugh and really made the trip.After the viewpoint we went down to the pools and he guided us from the top pool down to the bottom pools. At each  pool lip we had to either dive off the side or slide down on a natural rock formation on our arses. He would of course enter each pool with a forward or back flip.
We finished up overlooking the waterfall at the end where the water came out from the underground river. We can not describe just how beautiful these pools were. The camera just can't capture the beauty of it all.

Unfortunately these two spoilt what would have been a perfect view.

The aqua blue pools, the lush green jungle backdrop, the rolling steep limestone jagged hills on the horizon, the blazing sun and the bluest sky. It was indeed one of the most magnificent places we had visited in our last 11 months of travelling the world. The sun started to set later so we packed up and were herded back into the back of the pick up for the return journey but made sure we tipped the guide, which we never do usually but this was an exception. Even the usually tight money efficient Germans cleared their wallet cobwebs for Crazy Laugh so he probably had a few beers that night. Well deserved. Dropped off back at the office we try to pay for our bus tickets but Carlos told us not to worry about it and just pay the driver in the morning. We could barely walk back to the resort as my knees were shot from all the action and Kathy had a few wounds to lick as well but all totally worth it as a really solid day out for hardly any money whatsoever.

Blue wonder pool.

Antigua to Lanquin by bus.

Our 8am shuttle bus pick up from the hostel was of course on Guatemalan time which is 35 minutes late. We left hostel Antigua with the added gift of bed bug bites which would prove in the days to come super itchy in the forthcoming jungle heat. We paid extra to have a bigger bus rather than the bog standard uncomfortable shuttle bus and at £20 each was expensive by Guatemalan standards. We had reclining seats and a/c which sounds good but the journey quickly became worse. After leaving Antigua we stopped at Guatemala city and picked up another bunch of people that filled the bus to bursting point with all the fold down Joey seats in the gangway aisle being used as well. To top that the driver refused to use the air-con as it used too much power so we could not climb the hills being so loaded.

Customer service was not high on the Guatemalan psyche.

 My knees would not fit in the space between my seat and the seat in front being a lanky 6ft tall so had to sit at an angle with my legs dangling out into the aisle. When some guy started to invade my precious space I warned him that I had no place left to put my legs so would have to ram them up the side of his legs to which he replied, " That's fine as I am gay so like the contact". Kathy ended up being in the middle of a fat gay boy sandwich, squeezed in a sweaty space between them and their flapping bingo wings. I think they got the hump as they could not sit together as both Kathy and I did not want to swap seats with them and have to sit on the uncomfortable Joey chair in the middle. The 11 hour journey was pure torture, hot, sweaty with a lack of toilet stops. I can't believe we paid extra for this!

This is how Guatemalans carry their babies. No strollers here!

  We arrived at Lanquin at just after 7pm after a very bumpy last 45 minutes on an unpaved road in the dark. Exhausted we were glad to find a guy from our resort El Retiro waiting for us at the bus stop. Into the back of a pick-up we jumped and were soon settled into our room which had air-con, a balcony with hammocks overlooking the most gorgeous light blue river you ever did see. It was in a beautiful jungle garden backdrop and the room was decorated with hand painted moods of autumn.. We swiftly unpacked and went down to the riverside bar and as it was happy hour, swiftly downed a few litre bottles of Brahva to try and numb the memories of that bus journey.

Breakfast view of the river.

   Breakfast was served on the riverside which probably the most gorgeous setting since we had breakfast at the beach on Gili Air in Indonesia and we felt the journey was worth the pain. Later we headed into town and shopped around for a tour of Semec Champey and our onward bus tickets to Flores our next stop. It was the first place we walked in that ended up giving us all the right answers so we booked with him. Mikes Travels ended up being a top agent and a good pick we later found out but read about that in our separate blog on Semec Champey. Next we wandered into the centre of town and found ourselves there on market day which was full of visual treats. We needed some drawing pins that turned out impossible to find and after 10 attempts drawing a blank we found a guy who had some odd ones and we had to barter with him to buy 10 from his little stash which he gladly overcharged us for.. We also picked up some bananas and mangoes which you buy for pennies here.

Del Boy was having a slow day at the market.

 We then went back to the hotel for a fruit lunch with our new purchases then hit the decking on the riverbank to go swimming in that lovely cold clean river which took the sting out of the formidable jungle heat. Later on I grabbed a Tuk Tuk to Lanquin caves with Kathy deciding she wanted to carry on her patronage of the hammock as it was so hot. At the caves I was the only Patron so wandered into the caves which were lit most of the way then it was torch only which threw some great but spooky shapes and being over 2km into the side of the mountain in the dark on my own decided 10 minutes was enough even though the caves go on much deeper. There are several shapes that have formed which they named such as The Frog, Elephant and curtains but you had to use a lot of imagination to make the shapes come to life. Outside the cave entrance I waited for dusk which is when the thousands of bats come pouring out to commence their evening feed. It was quite a spectacle.

While waiting for the bats to emerge from the batcave I had to endure this view for 30 minutes.

 Now pitch black when I walked back to the ticket booth to be relieved that my prearranged Tuk Tuk had actually shown up. On the way back I grabbed some falafels and a few litres of Brahva for mine and Kathy's dinner having found a shop next door to the resort nearly 2/3rd's cheaper than inside it. That night we swung in the hammocks on the veranda listening to the sounds of the jungle, watching cockroaches and toads going about their business, the cockroaches ended up killed in the name of hygiene though. Kathy put some music on and we drunk the beers that did not stay cold long but still went down well until we fell asleep in the hammocks and then later crawled into bed. We did have a toad who we made friends with on the veranda but he got a bit too friendly and ended up trying to get into our room. Next day was our visit to what the Guatemalans call the most beautiful place in all their country.

Friendly toad kept us amused with some ribbiting stories of valour.