Leon (Granada to Leon by shuttle bus)

Why is it so hot? That was the question we were pondering when we left for the short walk from our lodging house to the pick up point for our private shuttle to go to Leon.. The rucksacks weighed a ton in the heat and after a 10 minute walk we were soaked in sweat. Funny that as on the news they were saying it was the coldest winter in years in the U.K. Dodged that bullet luckily. Of course and as usual the shuttle failed to pick us up and we had the agent chasing about for us as we didn't want to be stranded in Granada. The shuttle eventually showed up half an hour late with a load of disgruntled passengers who looked like they had been on board a while before picking us up. Why take a shuttle bus you say? Well lets just say it was a long journey to Leon on the chicken bus, with having to change in Managua the capital which was not the safest place to hang out we were informed, and another 3 hour ride after that on such an uncomfortable mode of transport we dug deep into the kitty for a spot of luxury. Well it wasn't luxury, just a bog standard minibus but at least it had air-con and tip back seats. We were promised a 2h 15min travel time but it was Nicaraguan time which we have worked out needs to be extended by 20-30% to be realistic. Apply this rule and you are fine. After 3 hours and a couple of impromptu stops we arrived at our next home stay which was another private house with kitchen. The house was nice but the room disappointing but had enough comforts to satisfy these tough customers. First thing we noticed was how hot it was. 38c said the weather forecast online and that was too hot for us. We wilted in the heat which was oppressive but by 5pm figured it cool enough to venture outside but we were wrong. Staggering around and resisting cold beers a calling us we managed to find a supermarket to stock up on essentials and since they had air-con we took much longer than we should of. Never have I been so pleased to go grocery shopping.

There was an albino dwarf, Craig David, a she-man, and Kelly Brook displaying the latest fashions. 

  Next day.....it was hotter than hell as we opened the bedroom door to go to breakfast at 6.30am. That night the temperature in the room did not dip below 33c on our thermometer and no one can sleep in that heat. So now we have a routine where we have a long cold shower just before bed time, and go to bed wet, no drying aloud. I stole another fan from one of the other guest rooms in the night as it was so hot, and now Kathy and I have 1 each blasting us on full speed all night and that worked out just fine as long as you don't want sheets and you're comfortable in your birthday suit.
   We ventured out on the mean streets to look for action. We wanted to go volcano surfing which is the must do thing here and soon tracked down an operator we liked and booked it up for next day. But we had an issue as we had to press on towards Mexico so had to make progress in that direction. We had Honduras next on the border to cross but it had no interesting sights to distract us and a reputation of being a country where it was easy to be murdered. In fact it was listed as the second most likely country in the world to be murdered in. Number one was El Salvador, namely the capital San Salvador so we went to a travel agent to buy tickets to go there. They did not speak English, our Spanish is still embarrassingly poor so no tickets were purchased on this occasion thus we licked our wounds and regrouped back at base. We needed a new strategy. Lets hit the coast of El Salvador we decided.. We checked out hotels and soon realised that everything that we could afford was booked......everywhere! As it was Santa Semana (Easter week) which is their busiest holiday of the year we were heading for trouble. We searched in vain for affordable beds but all that was available was the number one murder capital of the world......San Salvador. We swiftly booked the last room of a hotel we could barely afford and hoped our Spanish would improve drastically next day back at the bus company.
Again we went out to wander around town. I went for a haircut and the barber was amazed by my Casio watch that I bought in Burma for £2. He was saying how expensive it looked and when I told him it was a fake and made in China, he could not believe you could buy a watch for £2. He should go to Asia where you can take your pick!  Then we tried to get into a couple of cool museums but decided we could not be bothered to pay $3 each to see stuff that we would be bored with after 10 minutes with our low attention span and IQ count. So you guessed it, it was a nice cool colonial bar called Via Via that caught our attention with those high ceiling whizzing fans calling us over, we settled in for a couple of cold ones while devising a plan on how to avoid being murdered in San Salvador.  The day drifted to night, the dark descended and we retired back to base for nosh and ample rum and beer to keep the heat at bay.

If you like old churches you hit the jackpot in Leon. If you don't than you don't have a prayer. 

   Next morning the doorbell rang and there was our guide for the day Lester who was taking us volcano surfing. For those who are asking what is volcano surfing, or to be more accurate sledging, it is where you walk to the top of a very high volcano and on a board you sleigh down it in the ash deposits on the slope. Pretty unique we thought, lets give it a go! The lorry took us out to the volcano which was a bumpy and dusty ride, swerving around oxen and the like along a dirt road made of volcanic ash. Then the buggers told us we had to walk to the top of this huge black steaming volcano in the blistering heat to the top so we could surf down it. To make it worst we had to carry our own boards up there and all our equipment. You could pay a manservant $5 each to carry it for you but we were too tight to do that so up we went. Huffing and puffing we reached the top and looked into the crater hoping it wouldn't erupt again as it did 12 years ago. Then it was a quick tutorial and off we go. Kath went first and started cautiously but later picked up speed for a grand finish. I waited a while to check out the competition then gave it my best shot gathering enough speed to get scared and flap my legs around wildly looking to slow down. The ride itself was at most 2 minutes and hardly worth the money and effort we had put into it for such a short thrill but still it is one of those quirky once in a lifetime sort of things that make travelling such a hoot. There were a few casualties in the group but nothing major. The trainers got a good shredding though as you use your feet as brakes. Also the volcanic ash penetrates all orifices and will take a day before you can get it all out your of your body and clothes. Worth it though.

Wow! Look at the dust storm we are brewing up. 

 By 2pm we were back at the house, taking a shower and digging all the ash out of hard to get to places, then back off to the bus booking agent.  There we had a Spanish language meltdown in the office as it was so hot our brains decided not to function anymore so we exchanged a very slow and painful conversion by google translate and got our tickets to San Salvador but it did take an hour of wrangling with a very patient agent who did not once lose his rag with us ......so cheers amigo for that. Murder capital of the world here we come!

Guess who got sacked in the morning. 

Wanting to delay going to San Salvador for obvious reasons we booked an additional day at Leon to go to the beach where we had organised a free shuttle to get there. When we eventually got out of bed next day our legs were aching and had problems co-ordinating themselves. After breakfast we decided this was going to be a lazy day so we did some research on the murder capital to increase our chance of surviving our next destinations. We cancelled our shuttle to the beach with a very perplexed tour operator who gave us the ' I just don't give a f#ck what you do just leave me alone' type of vibe to us. So then we went down the bank and exchanged all our remaining Cordoba's for Dollar's then moaned we got charged $3 for the privilege. This was going to be our last day in Nicaragua so we had to tie up all the loose ends like you do before going through 3 border checks tomorrow. We had to do Honduras first and then El Salvador and endure a 10 hour bus ride to arrive late at night in the most dangerous city in the world. Times like this you wish you were back home in your own bed and not having to endure such self inflicted cruelty. In the afternoon I went to try some culture at the 'Museo del Revolucion' which was bizarre if a little boring until the guide took me on the roof which was a rusty corrugated tin sheet affair with ample rust and exposed beams showing on the missing panels. I asked him if it was safe and he laughed and said  "It's safer than if you were an American here at the time of the revolution." I took that as a no but but preceded anyway to take in the killer views of the main square.

The silhouettes surrounded the bike and make it commit to the revolution. 

Kathy meanwhile went on a shopping frenzy and came back disgruntled that it was a tourist rip off. Nothing new there then. The hot day drifted by as it does when you laze around all day sitting on the main plaza watching the locals do their day to day stuff with no agenda and just watch life pass you by with no pressure to meet time lines. It is a beautiful moment to behold as in our modern rush/work/stress lives we never seem to take enough time out just to reflect on how we are feeling and the lives of other people in the world. That reflective moment soon passed by and we had a quiet night in apart from a gang of other (much younger) guests checking in who tried to make it their party zone so we invaded their cool space and made it so uncool that they retired to bed in disgust at us pensioners hanging out with them. We then had a quick check on the condition of our bullet proof vests, helmets and night vision goggles before we caught the Tica bus to San Salvador tomorrow our next destination.