Jaisalmer

So we have been to the Red Fort in Delhi, the Red Fort in Agra, the Amber Fort in Jodphur and now we go to the Golden Fort in Jaisalmer which is out in a region known as the Thar desert. There was a slight problem though, as it was Diwali week and a public holiday for the Indians all week and the day we wanted to travel, the train was booked solid for the whole week. So it was the bus option for us which we dreaded as the last time we were in India we had some bad experiences with the buses so did not want to repeat the nightmare again. We did our research but it was all a bit vague online but we picked a company that we thought we would arrive at our destination in one piece, alive, and with our luggage intact called Jain travel which had average reviews but to be honest they were all pretty bad. We rocked up at their office near the train station and found no-one there but a 'friendly' Indian insisted we waited and the dude would be back shortly. So we waited for 15 minutes and sure enough this smiley but slightly creepy guy showed up and offered us the bus tickets which he wrote out and presented to us. Then he asked for the fee which we already knew the cost of as we researched it on their website but he was asking 35% extra, so we asked him why it was so expensive. He made a phone call to 'check' with the 'office' of the price and confirmed there was no discount. We then checked the so called ticket and wondered why it had no seat allocation. At this point Mr Smiley started getting shirty with us so we went online on the phone to see if he did actually book the tickets for us but he already knew we were on to him and started slamming things around, shouting some Hindi expletives then he jumped on to the back of a bike and off he went leaving us standing there. Turns out it was just a scam and the office was a front to relieve tourists of their money so we escaped that one luckily. It seemed there was a couple of dudes in on it who vanished pretty pronto as they do when your looking for vengeance but that's India all over. I could go on for hours about how many times we have knowingly avoided scams and I don't want to think about the ones which we are unaware of where we did get duped.
  Anyway a quick search on the phone gave us the real address of the bus company and we got the tickets at the right price for a nice 6am start. The bus pulled up next day and it looked mildly roadworthy which we were initially pleased about and our luggage being locked securely away underneath. That's about as good as it got. The quoted 6 hour journey turned into over 7hrs and the bus would stop anywhere and everywhere as it slowly trawled for passengers across town as it will not leave until full. We paid extra to have an A/C bus, but guess what? It didn't work and as we hit the desert the bus became pretty rammed and inside became like an oven as there we people all over the place, in the aisle, in the stairwell, on the engine bay. It must have been a good bus company though as there was (as far as we know) no-one sitting on the roof or hanging off the sides like you see on TV. Also there were no toilet stops so you were afraid to drink any water because of the heat in case you had an accident during the journey.  So after 7 hours they dumped us off just outside Jaisalmer in the blazing heat of the midday sun where the rickshaw mafia descended on us as usual so Kathy curtly told them what they could do with their offers of over priced transport. They got the message and dispersed. We have made an interesting observation that Indian men do not like confrontation with mad English women especially when they get angry and give them a salvo of their thoughts. I am so proud of her as Indians don't give women a lot of respect here.

I wish we had kept our house flood insurance up to date.

   A phone call to the hotel got us picked up which was lucky as our room was inside the ramparts of the actual fort and the breakfast area was on the battlements over looking the town of Jaisalmer and off into the desert. We would never have found it on our own through the maze of medieval streets. We were unsure whether to visit here as it was so far from Delhi which we had to get back to to fly out and also it is not far from the border with Pakistan but our fears were quickly quashed as it turned out to be a stunning location and the fort was spectacular with its golden hue walls looking like the whole structure was built of honeycomb sitting on a stark bluff rising out of the desert. The beauty of this fort was that it was occupied by the locals and was like a normal village inside unlike all the other forts which were solely for tourists. Roaming the streets was magical as it transported us back in time to when it was built for this purpose to house and protect the inhabitants from alien invasions. We whiled away a couple of days walking around checking out stuff within and outside the castle walls like the lake, just enjoying the atmosphere and ancient monuments.

Kathy takes her hotel room security very seriously.

 Kathy was suffering from the pollution in India which has been horrific since we arrived and she had contracted a sinus issue so was ordered to rest in the room so it gave me a chance to strike out on my own. I quickly acquired a motorbike and roared off into the desert for about 45km until I came to a place called Sam which had sand dunes where you act out your Lawrence of Arabia fantasy and take a camel to transverse the dunes. Funny enough though real life isn't so perfect as riding a camel is really uncomfortable and the sun cooks you like an egg as you have to cover up to protect yourself from getting burnt. Half an hour was enough for me so I got the guide to take me back to some shelter before I had sunstroke.

Lawrence of Arabia was well pleased with his new man bag.

 I stopped at a far out place in the desert on the way back for a spot of lunch and I think I was the first white man to ever frequent this area since as soon as I pulled up a seat in this dust bowl of what can only be described as a 3 sided shack with a couple of plastic chairs and a swarm of flies for company, than out of the woodwork gradually appeared one after another a procession of swarthy looking Indians who looked like they had faces constructed of leather and features which the word emaciated would not do them any justice. Anyway about 20 of them rocked up and positioned themselves around me, piercing me with their intriguing stares but not saying anything. I felt I should grab a guitar and knock out some old tunes to pacify their expectation of a lone white man on motorbike arriving from nowhere to their humble arena. I broke the silence with a "Hello" which went down with a good response but then I found out no-one spoke any English. Sign language followed to indicate I wanted feeding and someone was dispatched after an exchange of Hindi between them and 2 minutes later a boy of about 12 showed up who spoke a sprinkling of English and first contact was made. After I established there was no menu, and in fact bugger all food here, I managed to persuade them to knock me up a tomato omelette in the kitchen (that looked like someone had died in there and been allowed to rot away naturally as a mark of respect to their time served there). My hunger got the better of me so I took a gamble as to whether this meal was going to secure me to the toilet for the next 3 days or permit me to carry on my merry way without incident. It's very unnerving having 20 people watch you in close scrutiny every mouthful you cut up and put in your mouth like you are a being from another dimension to watch the consequence of these actions. Anyway it tasted all right so I ate it all, handed over my 65p and for their entertainment as it was a hire bike done a couple of doughnuts in the dust, engulfing their little clan in my dust and peeling out into the desert again. They seemed pleased with my efforts and gave me a parting wave as I headed back to base.

I just could not get my knee down on the desert road twisties.

 Later that evening I had to return the bike so rode down to the vendor who asked me to sign his customer satisfaction book and write a comment. Not something I usually do, I was hesitant at first as I wanted to score some beers before the beer shop closed (they shut at 8pm sharp!) but he was polite for a change so I opened the latest page where the previous respondent had written;
  "I rode this bike all the way on the limit, really screwing up the engine and totally abused the piece of crap until it was scrap and returned it to the owner job done."
 It was obvious that the owner did not read his own feedback so I wrote something along similar lines for my own amusement but just raised it a notch so the next renter can have a chuckle at it and carry on the momentum. LOL!. I closed the book and returned it to him and he thanked me for my contribution to his business. Beers secured at the last knockings luckily I returned to my patient who decided she was not ill enough to avoid sinking a couple of cold, extra strong Kingfisher beers (medicinal?).

I could not believe I forgot my bucket and spade on this trip.

  Another interesting fact about Jaisalmer is that it has a government approved Bhang shop.  What is Bhang I hear you cry? Well, it is basically ground up buds from the cannabis plant (so the owner told us) which the locals take to help them with their spiritual journeys when they are engaging with their gods during meditation. It is mixed into a full bodied type milkshake called a lassi (nothing to do with dogs from the 70's) which you just drink as normal. Well, Kathy and myself are always up for a spiritual adventure, so as they they say, 'when in Rome' we shared a small lassi to see if it was all hype. It didn't taste like anything was in it and was a very small cup to share and we could not detect any added ingredients. We finished the drink and left feeling like we had been ripped off again and trudged back to the room. About 2 hours later back in the room we were formally introduced to the Hindu gods Shiva, Krishna, Ganesh and Hamunan and had a lovely spiritual journey with them and a real quality sleep. What a great government they have here!
  We will be very sad to leave Jaisalmer as it was a real class destination but we booked another train back to Jodhpur where we will stop for one night and then take another bus next day to Udaipur as we did not fancy the 12 hour (read 15 hour really) sleeper bus from Jaisalmer so have split the journey into two 6 hours bitesize chunks.

Our sandcastle won best newcomer 2017.

Jodhpur

Well, during out time in Jodhpur we ventured up a very steep path to walk around the main attraction which is the amber fort called Mehrangarh, an amazing place with huge canons on the battlements (which run 6-36m high) as well as buzzard field skies and mischievous chipmunks in the grounds. Funny enough, it was mainly Indian visitors here so, being in the minority, we attracted all the usual stares and requests for taking a selfie with us (which we said no to!). The streets below were chaotic with too many people/rickshaws/mopeds/cars all battling for a space and frequently ending in gridlock. It was a constant assault on the senses just getting around town.

Now that's what you call a fort! 

As it was the start of Diwali, we were treated to even more noise in the form of the Indians letting off very loud fire crackers (sometimes as you were walking past) and fireworks in the street (even small children were left in charge of these much to our horror). This went on all day and night which made going to sleep difficult and waking up easy! However, the festival had a positive effect on the locals as they frequently greeted us in the street and wished us 'Happy Diwali!' which made a nice change from the usual staring at us like aliens from planet Zog. We were staying outside of the main tourist area so we attracted even more attention being the only white tourists walking around but most people were friendly and we even had some shop keepers give us free Indian sweets for Diwali (though they didn't taste too good!).

View from our hotel room - a holy cow with a 5th leg growing out of it being paraded around the streets.....

For the rest of our time here we kept our venturing out time to around a couple of hours as it was such hard work so we would return to the hotel for a much needed rest from the mayhem.  In addition to this the pollution was awful and it's pretty much everywhere here.
We struggled to find good/safe places to eat near our hotel so we were happy when we found a restaurant around the corner who served reasonably priced tasty/hot food which didn't make us ill. The only drawback was that we had to endure the usual staring from all the staff and other customers but we didn't care once the food was on the table!!
We thought Jodhpur was worth visiting but were surprised at the lack of tourists here and the lack of things to do/see. We visited the fort, Rao Johad desert rock park, the old clock tower/market area and the step well in town but all of these involved the usual struggles with rickshaw drivers (asking silly fares) and difficulty putting up with the heat/scorching sun/toxic air.
It was time to leave so we did our research into a place called Jaisalmer out in the desert and searched around town for a means to get there...........

Welcome To Jodhpur

Time to leave Pushkar and head on to Jodhpur by train so we organised a late checkout where we were staying as our train wasn't until late afternoon. We had a stroll around the bazaar and came across some crazy European girl (wasn't sure which nationality but poss. Spanish) who couldn't work out how to use an ATM! Being good natured we tried to help (mainly because we wanted to use it after her) and she made us stand there watching her as if we were the ATM guru! People can be odd.
Anyway, we managed to get some food for the journey, jumped in to a taxi to take us to the station and said our goodbyes to the chilled out vibes of Pushkar.
The train statiton was the usual chaotic scene made worse by the lack of information on hand - yes they have info. boards but these show either conflicting or lack of information and there is NEVER anybody from Indian Railways around. After lugging all our gear to the platform shown for Jodhpur, it then differed on the info. boards what time it was due so us along with a group of other travellers were totally in the dark! Eventually new info. was shown along with a platform change so off we trudged laden down with rucksacks and in the end the train was over an hour late. We located our carriage (with difficulty of course!) and settled in for the 5 hr ride.  Well it was one that totally sucked.  Unlike the previous trains, this one (or maybe just our carriage) had nobody selling drinks/snacks so we had to ration our water (luckily we had food) and it should have arrived at 7.35pm but didn't (what a surprise!) being over 2 hrs late!  We have now come to this
conclusion.....

'India is a very challenging place for tourists, no question about it.  As for how many of these visitors actually really enjoy travelling in this country for a/ most of their time b/ part of their time or c/ none of their time here is a real mystery.  For us, every day is a new set of obstacles, challenges or problems normally caused by the locals who either want your money or want more of your money, or who don't like you (some seem to have a chip on their shoulder about westerners) or some who take great satisfaction from giving you either duff information or the complete run around (this is one of the few things they gladly do for free!). These factors along with the heat, dust, dirt/rubbish and throat choking pollution (glad we have face masks!) means we have struggled during our time in India so far.'

Anyway, after the crap train we negotiated (with difficulty as always!) a rickshaw to take us to our hotel in a non touristy part of town. The hotel had only been open a month and it showed as it took frigging ages for them to check us in which was painful after arriving so late at night so by the time we finally got in our room it was getting on for midnight. Having had no dinner (thanks Indian Railways!) we made do with a pizza the hotel got in for us - yum!
The next day we woke up early considering the late night but this was mainly due to the noise from outside - cows, horns beeping, shouting, banging, you name it we heard it! We went up to the roof terrace for breakfast only to be told there was only veg. sandwiches so we waited and what turned up was 2 stale white bread sarnies (with crusts cut off) filled with cucumber & tomato accompanied by coffee which tasted like it was made with water from the toilet - unflushed (go figure that one!). Yuck. We decided to get something elsewhere. After a trip to the train station, we discovered all the tickets to our next stop were sold out (typical) so headed to the busy clock tower/market area where we stopped for some lunch (a tourist place so good food but they tried to rip us off - 3 times in fact including short changing me by 100 rupees!). We took to the quieter back streets below the fort for a stroll around then we luckily chanced across a booze shop so we splashed out a whole £4 on a bottle of Gin (good for the nerves).  As it was the start of Dewali (Indian festival), everybody was very happy and friendly (makes a change!) saying hello to us and wishing us a Happy Dewali which made us feel more welcome. Maybe things aren't so bad afterall?..................

Pushkar

Another day, another train journey, this time a short 2 hour hop to Ajmer the hopping off point to hit Pushkar, a travellers hotspot where the cool, hip and freaky converge to live out their holy, desert dreams of Indian culture in the shadow of a huge lake which also doubles up as one massive holy ghat. (holy bathing pools).  Here in the desert it's like an oasis of a town, still Indian in nature with is rubbish strewn scrubby roads and hotchpotch of daily life throbbing around you but just a bit more relaxed and a bit more tourist friendly compared to other destinations in India. You could call it the Goa of the desert as it bends towards western tastes a bit more after the slog through central India. It's a place to recharge and relax devoid of any 'must see' sights before you embark on the next stage of your journey.

The view from our hotel window of the 'swimming pool'.

   The train journey was smooth enough and we arrived in the furnace of the afternoon heat into the jaws of the rickshaw drivers who again baited us with their taunts but this time they were out of luck as they were not allowed to make the 12km drive unless they had a special licence which none of them have got so we had to deal with the taxi sharks who were just as relentless and hostile. We were struggling to barter a price we felt comfortable with and after a few minutes tempers began to fray in the afternoon heat, another day in the upper 30's until Kathy spotted a local who was getting into one so she asked if we could share and he luckily agreed. When we arrived in Pushkar the taxi could only go so far as the streets are really small set out in medieval maze of narrow walkways frequented only by pedestrians and scooters so we had to walk the last stretch.

The Langurs on our balcony were upset we had no duty free left for them.

   The hotel was right on the edge of the lake and our room had shutters which opened out directly onto the lake. We could lie on the bed and watch all the comings and goings of the locals and there was plenty of that! On our balcony a troupe of Langars decided to make camp and watch us unpack, cows would routinely trundle through the reception area, stray dogs scavenging through the piles of rubbish, thick clouds of pigeons being spooked by Diwali bangers and doing circuits of the ghats and landing again. The water in the ghat did not look very clean to us although the cool water did look inviting in the desert heat for a quick dip, it was not a good idea looking at all the jetsam on top but this did not deter the constant stream of devotees making their way down the steps to the waters edge, barefoot of course as the steps are sacred, and submerging themselves into the murky water often taking all their clothes off to cleanse their souls of all their sins (or something like that). We just laid on the bed watching naked Indians carry out their ritual routines, marvelling in the elaborate sequence of actions they would carry out to satisfy themselves that the gods had been appeased to take themselves one step nearer on their journey to nirvana. My take on it is that if you went in that water and submerged yourself in it the only place you would be going is to hospital with some nasty contracted disease. Even the 'holy steps' which the Sadu's (holy men) made Kathy and I take our shoes off to walk around the ghats were covered in cow shit, pigeon shit, monkey shit and all kinds of other shit/rubbish which no one seemed to be bothered with but shoes were considered 'dirty' so had to be removed. Who makes this crap up?

We could not find anybody to hire us a jet ski.

  After our previous stops in Delhi, Agra and Jaipur, Kathy and I were both feeling the strain of navigating the Indian culture which is really difficult to explain without being negative in outlook as it is so different from our way of life, but anyone who has travelled India will know what I mean  so we felt exhausted and Pushkar was the perfect place to kick back and watch the world go by while we recharged our batteries. Our first 2 days we did nothing at all except wake up late, had breakfast, went and watched Pushkar from our hotel window do its thing then about 5pm go down to the far side of the lake and have a 'special lassi' which I am not sure what exactly was in it but made us feel very relaxed and we slept well every night! Its also worth mentioning that Pushkar is a 'dry' town so no alcohol is allowed (although we had no problem finding it) and no meat is allowed so every restaurant is strictly vegetarian thus we dined like kings for the 5 days we stayed there.

The snow conditions were below average at the top of the cable car.

Feeling guilty by day 5 we had not done anything we hired a motorbike and got lost a lot as there are no signs and the desert looks the same at every turn but found our way to a Hindu temple on top of this steep mountain which unbelievably had a cable car that went to the top. Classic Indian engineering was on display here, with spindly support columns and minimal safety considerations, it was mine and Kathy's forte so we bought a ticket which for the first time on our travels in India we were charged the same price as the locals (shock horror!) and boarded the basic gondolas to the summit which we shared with a nice Indian couple (as it is a holy shrine at the the top so they go and do their holy thing at the top). Half way up the ride it came to a shuddering stop with the gondola swinging wildly with the backlash of the jolt so for dramatic effect I let out a mock scream of terror pretending I feared for my life being trapped suspended in mid air 100 metres off the ground with the possibility of the cable snapping and all of us crashing to terra firma. The faces on the the Indian couples faces were priceless as they watched me screaming for my life and Kathy laughing at my foolhardiness.  When we started to move again they did let out a nervous chuckle but I am sure they thought we were on day release from Broadmoor.

The traffic was a constant menace in the desert. 

 At the top the temple was poop so we took a quick stroll as it was cool in the breeze and hassled the monkeys who live up there and admired the colossal views of the desert. Later on we picked some random road into the wilderness with a tank of gas and wanted to just see where it would take us. Nowhere much is the answer but our journey was entertaining as we went through mountain and desert villages where clearly they don't see white people at all and we were rewarded by people wanting to 'high five' us as we drove past, massive mountain valley views, curious locals and water buffalo who blocked the road and would not let us pass and one was giving Kathy the evil eye which she assured me it was "going to do us in if we messed with it" so at this point we decided to call it a day and head back to civilisation.

High five if you see these crazy white people on a motorbike.

   In Pushkar the annual camel fair was about to happen which funny enough is the highlight in the tourist calender and according to our Lonely Planet  book was a must see. Also Diwali was about to explode into town and it started to become extremely busy and our hotel advised us the town turns from a laid back retreat into 2 weeks of  total mayhem so we took this as our cue to chip as mayhem was not on our agenda. Next day we were again allowed to check out late and we took a taxi back to Ajmer to catch another train to our next destination Jodhpur.

Sunset by the lake on our last night in Pushkar.

  

Jaipur

Another superb train journey from Agra to Jaipur. It took about 3.5 hours and whilst on board they fed us with a 4 course meal which was included in the price of the ticket which was only £8 each!
This time we went 'CC' class which is an a/c reclining chair with table. It was very comfortable. The rickshaw touts at Jaipur are reputed to be the worst in India and they sure lived up to their reputation when we departed the train and  they started on us as soon as our feet touched the platform surrounding us like bees around honey. You have to keep a cool head and don't go with any off them as they add commission to your fare for their own pocket. A bit like a finders fee. What we do is usually walk to the main road and flag one down a get a more realistic price which this time turned out to be less than 50p to our hotel.
  The hotel was a bit disappointing as it was rated really well online but in the flesh did not look anything like the photos online at Agoda.com. Then they started giving us loads of crap on check -in about us not having a booking, wanting to see our E-Visas and just making it generally hard for us to get a room. This was the point where Kathy stepped in and told them they were not immigration officials but a hotel and our entry requirements were nothing to do with them. This seemed to unlock the situation pretty quickly and we obtained a room which was painted entirely in pink and I hate pink so did not like it much. Breakfast was weird as well as you phone it down to reception and they bring it to your room. I don't know what it is about all the hotels we stay in as we never get what we order at breakfast. It's pot luck as to what is going to show up but it's like playing roulette and can be a lot of fun laughing at their crazy variations/omissions/substitutions.
 Now Jaipur is the 3rd point on the 'golden triangle' which makes it sound so romantic, along with New Delhi and Agra. I have to admit these 3 cities have been the most polluted and dirty, noisy,crowded, stressful places I have ever had the pleasure of visiting in all my years travelling and I can't understand why people would want to spend any time here at all. This is not a romantic place! Don't come here for a relaxing break as it is full on turbo style life in your face. In fact it will rub your face in it until you submit. . It makes you realise how lucky we are to live in England. On the plus side the days fly by as there is NEVER a dull moment. There is always someone trying to hustle you or be your best mate or give you misleading info about you objectives. It's a minefield.
     On the first day we ventured into the old pink city to do the palaces etc, but had to find a bank which turned into another adventure as most do not accept international cards. After a hot chase around town we found one but were exhausted in the heat (it's 37c today) so retired to a place called Tattoo Cafe which had a roof top area and air-con which mellowed us out. There was some French dude waiting to be tattooed as we were eating and you should have seen the set up there. It was not hygienic at all and Kath and I reckon the French guy was going to get a free gift with his tattoo in the form of hepatitis or worse. Would you get a Tattoo done in a cafe in England? Some travellers just get so engrossed in the culture I think their common sense stays in their rucksack or am I just being cynical because I'm old? We left there and went to the Hawa Mahal (the wind palace) which is one of Jaipur's most iconic structures and it turned into a pleasant couple of hours dossing around the palace and photo bombing other peoples selfies.

The wind palace was not built to do farts in.

 We again started to flag in the heat and had good intentions to see some more sights but we could tell by the way everybody was sitting on benches chilling out under the trees that this was our vocation also and so no more sites got our patronage and we eventually took our hearts in our mouths and took another white knuckle rickshaw ride back to the hotel.

This man tried to add a shiny dome to the Amber Fort.

   Next day we wanted to visit the Amber Fort which was 11km out of town and we did not want to get a bus so tried an App that we had downloaded on the phone but had no success with in Delhi. This time it worked to our amazement (you expect the worse in India) and we arrived at the fort for the princely sum of £1.80 in an air-con car. The fort was a 10 minute walk up the hill from the entrance gate in the blistering sun even though it was only 8.30 in the morning. We could have of got an elephant to take us up but heard reports of the elephants not being treated well and officially the Indian government had banned them from transporting tourists to the summit although this seemed to have no effect on the amount of custom today as the elephants were flat out to cope with the demand from the arriving tour groups. Inside the fort we dallied around the palaces and the maze of walkways that criss cross the fort and were entertained by a troupe of Langurs who were tumbling about and being generally naughty to our amusement. At one point, Daz waved a banana we were saving for lunch at a large Langur monkey sitting on a ledge above us causing it to suddenly spring to life, swinging down to come see us! We panicked and went to hide in a small room in an alcove and after a few minutes of quiet we thought it was safe to emerge only to find the monkey sitting patiently in the doorway for his banana! Well he didn't get it (we did feel bad!) and we carefully sloped past with the help of a passing guard leaving the poor monkey confused and probably very disappointed.

" I hope I don't get piles sitting on this cold wall"

 After a few hours in this massive structure we walked back down to the road to get transport back to town. We used our OLA App again and a driver showed up promptly but this is when the games started. We got the impression that the drivers do not like picking up tourist on this App as they are priced for Indians so you get a great deal on rides. This driver then cancelled our booking as we got in the car and started giving us mega aggro about the journey. He asked us to get out.....we refused......he got stopped by the police.....he left the car.......he came back and started the aggro again....he did not want to take us but would not explain to us why he cancelled our booking. We again refused to budge so he drove off but his driving was erratic. He pulled over after a couple of miles and enrolled a couple of other drivers to try and get us removed from the car. But the other drivers did not back him when they realised we were being honest with our intentions. Anyway it all got a bit tense and heated and the stalemate was only resolved when one of the other drivers offered to take us for the agreed fare back to our hotel. Well he drove like a nutter but got us back in one piece so we tipped him for his services. Exhausted again from all this aggro we retreated back to the room to recoup. (oh, how I hate that bright pink room). Having had enough of this dump of a city and to save our sanity we caught another train the next day that would take us to our next destination - Pushkar.

The Bruce Forsyth tribute pose for the Raj was not received well. 

Agra

We left New Delhi train station on the 11.25am train and 2.5hrs later arrived in Agra. On board we purchased lunch as one of the carriages is a kitchen so we had a massive meal that we both could not finish for only £1 each. We went in class 2ac which basically means you get a bed with sheets, blankets and pillow each in a cabin divided into 2 bunks so you have 2 top bunks and 2 bottom bunks. Luckily we only had to share with a young girl who slept for nearly the whole journey so Kathy played monkey by taking the top bunk swinging up and down the ladder. It was just like being kids again!

Kathy took the top bunk as she was smaller.

 Again we were besieged at the train station with loads of rickshaw drivers fighting for our custom so we ignored them all and found this driver who must have been in his 90's with no teeth so we went with him as he did not hassle us thus gave us a fair price to the hotel.
  The hotel Mumtaz Mahal was nice and had a roof top restaurant which had a great view of the Taj Mahal while we ate breakfast which was nice as there were rhesus macaques swinging about around us, families of pigs running up and down the road, cows munching on the trees and eagles grabbing thermals to go hunting.   Next morning we got up at 5am and queued up for a ticket to get in. Usual 2 tiered pricing system . Indians= 60p , Foreigners=£12.50. Then we jumped onto an electric bus as there is a 500 metre pollution exclusion zone around the Taj Mahal due to the damage exhaust fumes are doing to the marble, staining it so badly that they use a mixture of milk and cow dung to clean it every night!

Giant hand crushes Taj in pricing outrage.

The queue was about 20 minutes long as it does not open until sunrise but as soon as we entered the sun rose above the tree line to light the marble up which makes it translucent in appearance so when you take photos it looks like a mirage in the distance. I know everybody goes on about how fabulous it is etc, etc, but even hardened travellers like Kath and myself could not help to be impressed with the size and presentation of the structure. It was sublime as we sat and watched it glisten in the low morning sun. We ventured inside to see the false tombs and some exquisite marble carving but it was more impressive from the outside. After 3 hours we finally become fed up of looking at it and  returned to the hotel which was only a couple of hundred metres away to have breakfast and view it from the roof again. In the afternoon we ventured out to nowhere in particular but the heat of the day and rickshaw drivers ground us down in just 2 hours so we caved in and got a rickshaw back to the hotel.

That's the money shot Princess Di.

  Next day after a lazy start Kathy says she wanted to chill (well it was 36c outside our air con room) and watch a movie on T.V. so I caught a rickshaw to the Red Fort on my own. Usual pricing farce again. Indian 21p Foreigner £6.

It was red and fort like in structure.

The fort was quite impressive and a lot better than the fort at Delhi since it contained many a palace and was massive. There was plenty of people there as well which surprised me but only a handful of Europeans. There were signs everywhere saying don't sit or walk on the grass/gardens and everywhere you walked Indian families were having picnics on the grass! It's a funny world. Even security could not be bothered to move them on. Agra was a dusty,polluted place to stay so next day the hotel let us check out late so we caught a train to our next destination Jaipur. 

Malaysia/Borneo round up

After 10 weeks travelling around the Malay peninsular and Malay Borneo we have concluded the following facts.
Daily Budget including everything except connecting flights £38.60 per day for the pair of us. We found it so cheap for hotels of a really good standard. We had no horror stories to report of anywhere we stayed and service was always prompt and rooms of a high quality averaging out about £16 a night including breakfast. Agoda was the best site for discount bookings.
Connecting flights inc baggage of 20kg each and meals with Air Asia mostly worked out at between £20-25 each flight.
Taxis were super cheap if you download a GRAB app. We averaged £1 per 6km.
Food was also super cheap if you went local and didn't order lobster and crab. We averaged £3-4 for the pair of us inc drinks but beer was extra and could vary enormously between 33p a can in Langkawi to £3.50 a bottle in Kota bhuru. It depends on how Muslim the state you are in is.
Buses were also super cheap and really comfy with big executive chairs. We went from Kota Bhuru to Penang which is right across the top of Malaysia for less than £10 each which took 7 hours.
Why choose north Malay Borneo rather than Indonesian Borneo? It just seemed so easy in the north half as Internet was good most places although a bit slow, buses worked, connecting flights super cheap  and accessibility to the main attractions were easy without having to join a tour group.

And so the sun sets on another country.

  Also there is no visa fee for UK nationals and with most other countries as you get 3 months on entry.
 The best thing was not having to barter all the time. The price was set so you could take it or leave it.  The Indonesian side may have thrown up more adventures maybe but as we had already done 2 months there and would have to extend our visa again we decided north would be better. We also found entry fees and accessibility issues in Indonesia as everything seemed to have the necessity to book with a tour company which is OK mostly but can be restrictive and timetabled to a point where you are herded around with people you may not like but each to their own. Entry fees were very high as well. 

India, New Delhi

Servants plotting in the drawing room of the Taj Mahal.

Arriving at New Delhi train station was like being thrown into a pit of seething snakes where you fight for room to keep your head up while the snakes engulf the space around you and then try to bite you at the same time. After travelling from Borneo, 16 hours later we arrived at the station with all our luggage at midnight to a wall of rickshaw drivers who could smell the money walking out of the subway via these two tired whiteys with rucksacks.They descended on us like a pack of hungry wolves circling for the kill. After we 'haggled' a fare that was not going to bankrupt us in the process (we should have done better but we were so tired as the time difference from Borneo made it the equivalent of 2.30am) we took off in the back for a hair-raising ride through Old Delhi to our hotel in the main tourist area of Paharganj. The hotel was really nice with the room kitted out in a kitsch Taj Mahal interior but backed onto the main bazaar which was manically busy with cows sleeping outside our room, beggars, barrow boys selling fruit and anything you wished for. The noise was awesome from the constant blare of the horns.

The 'Taj Mahal' nerve centre.

 On our second night there was a festival outside which had floats blaring out loud Hindi music to the early hours. It was a constant bombardment of the senses. We used to go out from the hotel in 2 hour segments as after 2 hours our nerves became frayed so we would retreat back to the room to destress before our next foray into the mayhem. (and this is after we have done India before, it does not get any easier).

The view from our bedroom window was 'special'.

 Luckily we had acquired a litre bottle of 'Stolichnaya vodka' from duty free at KL airport so that provided ample comfort in our hours of need. Did I mention the pollution? It was so thick with fumes it made mine and Kathy's eyes water and noses run and the back of our throats sore after less than an hour. We purchased face masks to combat this and looked a picture walking through the Old Delhi streets looking like a pair of medics on call.

Doctor on call in Delhi (The Red Fort)

After sorting out a SIM for the phone (which was like trying to enrol to join MI6) and changing all our Malaysian Ringgit into Rupees (which they gave us a rate which was the same as we withdrew it for) we decided we should at least make the effort to see a tourist site. We downloaded an App for the local taxis but it turned out to be useless (this is going to be a common theme I think) as no-one wanted to take us to the Red Fort. Then we went out into the cesspit that they call the bazaar to get a rickshaw to take us but it turned out easier to slit my wrist than deal with these greedy lazy bar stewards. Last option.....take the Metro!

You can never find a rickshaw in Delhi then 145 come along all at once!

So we queued for a ticket.....less than 20p each....result!. Then we queued to be body searched and our bags x-rayed.......separate men and women queues! Then we queued down on the platform with the other 234000 people to get on the next train......here it comes......doors open......bundle! Elbows flailing like helicopter blades to gain entry to the coach....we're in...hooray. London rush hour I will never complain about you again. Then we had to change lines.....same process again...like a couple of prize fighters we were battling the onslaught of the enemy in never ending numbers. Eventually we arrived at our station.....Kathy's ticket would not let her out......machine broken.....frustration as people barging her around.... she holds her own though and burst through the barriers to meet me with an expression on her face of exasperation. And we were not even out the station yet. On we trudged flowing with the sea of bodies up onto the surface where we thought we could get some space and our breath back. Oh no no no! Down dark alleys, through covered bazaars, dodging the open drains and street food vendors....a swirling mass of bodies carrying us along like a procession of carcasses going into the grinder at a meat packing factory. The main road.......we burst out of the column of bodies and onto the main road to be accompanied by rickshaws, thick lung clogging fumes, eye burning smoke from the food vendors cooking and enough noise to drown out Metallica in full concert. And we were not even there yet!
   After 20 minutes of this constant barrage we did arrive at the fort.......just one more hurdle as we had to cross an 8 lane intersection gridlocked with hot hostile traffic all trying to mow us down as we gingerly weaved our way across to the safety of the police barricade. We made it! Phew!

It was red and fortified so we named it the red fort.

Inside we bought our ticket...usual discrimination against tourists. Indians= 30p , foreigners=£6.30 each. Kathy wanted to go to the toilet inside and they wanted to charge us to use it! Unbelievable!
Anyway she didn't pay and was rewarded by being chased by locals all shouting at us as we both fled into the fort. The fort itself looked better on the outside than the inside but we spent a couple of hours walking about checking out the palaces/gardens and watching chipmunks play around us as we rested and listened to parrots squawking in the evening air as the dusk descended.It was dark when we eventually exited and fought our way back along the route we had come which unbelievably was even busier now (if that was possible) as it was rush hour. When we departed at our stop near the hotel we went to look for somewhere to eat and as lady luck would have it stumbled into the local booze depot which we had failed to locate at any other time, so as a reward to ourselves we topped up on Kingfisher and loaded the fridge up at the hotel. But as it goes the day was so exhausting we both fell asleep before the beers even got finished so it was a hollow victory. So there it is smelly Delhi, that is our lot, after 2 head spinning,rickshaw hooting,cow dozing, beggar dodging, gut rumbling,lung choking,fart smelling,rip-off rendering, dog barking,days we are out of here off to Agra on the train in the morning. Bye Bye Delhi......we won't miss you at all. 

Kota Kinabalu - The Return

We got the return flight back from Sandakan to Kota Kinabalu and another 3 nights at the Century Hotel before our flight to India on 4th October.
We arrived late evening and were initially given a room which smelled like an ashtray so we protested and were pleased to be moved to a non smoking floor with a room a couple of floors above our original one so we had the good views again.  We didn't do too much as felt pretty knackered after Sepilok so we just trawled around town/dossed at the hotel mostly.  On the last day, we did take advantage of the good weather and took a boat to one of the islands just off the shore for a day trip. (Sapi).
The boat/ferry terminal was manic with lots of counters for different companies selling tickets jostling for our custom.  We bought some tickets after some enquiries then sat down to wait to be called by the boat crew to leave. The boat was nothing special with plastic seats so we jumped on first, bagged the rear seats (one each) whilst the others squished in elsewhere. At one point a crew member said could we sit together to which I (K) replied 'I'm not sitting next to him!' and they left us alone after this!! Just as well as the seats weren't very wide or comfy. The boat stopped at various other islands before we disembarked at Sapi.
This island was quite busy and the beach was pretty rammed. We spent about 1/2 day there with me sitting in the shade of a tree, Daz snorkeling (he saw some great fish of different types/colours as well as amazing coral on the reef) and just relaxing in a hammock which we put up in the sun.  We saw some monitor lizards as well with one getting quite close to me when I was having a nap! Probably after my biscuits!!
Anyway, it was time to leave so after some confusion over where to get our return boat, we headed back across and back to our hotel to pack for our flight the next morning - India here we come!!!

All aboard! Off To Sapi Island

Relaxing on the beach - well trying to with all the people there!

Time To Leave Sapi  - Which One's Our Boat Then?

Manukan Island Which Was Quieter But We Missed Out On That One!

Off To Sabah - Kota Kinabalu

Well it was time to leave Kuching and Sarawak to fly across to the other Malaysian part of Borneo called Sabah.
We arrived in the capital, Kota Kinabalu after a short uneventful flight and used our very handy Grab app to get a taxi to our hotel.  On the way, we passed a Hilton Hotel and the taxi driver informed us that the room rate was around 1000R (we normally pay around 100!!). Next up was a Mercedes Benz showroom and by this point we were very confused as to whether we were still in Borneo!
Anyway, we got to our hotel, found our room to be large and comfortable with nice views of the trees/forest behind the building plus tea/coffee making facilities and tv with Fox movies (although most of these were repeats or old films!).
Venturing out the first night for dinner is always hard work as you don't know the place and when you're hungry it's even more challenging.  We walked around until we settled on a cheap place which was prepared to rustle up some vege. fried rice for us. Most of the other customers were guys sitting about watching very old WWE wrestling on the restauarant's tv - it was weird!  We ate our food then went to buy some beers before retiring back to our room.  The next day we checked out around town - not a massive amount to do here but we did find a modern shopping mall with a big food court so dinner was sorted!  We went for a walk up to an observation point then negotiated all the stairs back down to the main street.  We walked around town, checked out a local market selling everything from clothes, shoes and knock off sports brands like Nike as well as the food market near the seafront which absolutely stunk in the areas selling fish.  God knows how these people can put up with the stench as it made our stomachs churn!

To be honest, KK is an ok place for a couple of nights but the main attraction is further away at Sandakan/Sepilok so we stayed 3 nights then it was time for a short flight there as the bus ride was 7 hrs+ and we didn't fancy wasting all that time driving there (of course the flight was cheap too!).

Our room at Century Hotel, Kota Kinabalu

Sandakan

Well we left Sepilok in a a taxi as we could not be bothered to get the bus as no one knew what the timetable was and we could not be bothered to lug our 20kg of luggage each down to the main road and wait for a bus in the blistering heat. We arrived at the hotel in Sandakan that was a little out of town but ran a free shuttle service into the centre of town so it suited us (the hotel was a business one so of a high standard plus as it was the weekend so we got a good rate as there is no business stuff going on at the weekend).
   Breakfast was a bit weird though as this is not a hotel suited to western dudes, so we came down to the breakfast buffet to be confronted with spicy noodles (cold!) and cold greasy rice with spicy fish sauce. yummm! Is that all they eat here? Rice and noodles? We are so SICK of rice and noodles for lunch and dinner, so breakfast was just a step too far. Anyway managed to hassle the girl in the kitchen to russle up some eggs on toast but I could see from her expression on her face it was an unusual request. That is basically as good as Sandakan got! The town itself was a complete dump. Full of rats and cockroaches everywhere. The seafront has flotsam bobbing about in the sea with a strong smell of sewage, no beach as it is reclaimed land and rubbish everywhere. We had dinner on the seafront the first night which was unappealing with the sewage smell and the food well below par in quality. The only decent part in town was a new mall they had built which contained a new Sheraton hotel but why anyone would want to stay here in a 5 star hotel is beyond me. The view from their windows must be disheartening.
  Next day we went to the death march memorial park in a taxi which is a site erected to commemorate all the soldiers that had died in world war 2 (British and Australian) which were taken as POW's by the Japanese when they captured Borneo and Singapore, put into labour camps then treated very harshly where many of them died of malnutrition and disease in the camp but then when the allies came to liberate Borneo towards the end of the war, the Japs marched all the inmates that numbered nearly 2500 to another camp inland but on the torturous journey only 6 survived (all Australian) because they escaped en route but all the others died before they reached their destination. To lighten the mood after our visit we decided to get the local 'chicken' bus back into town which was a laugh as it had floors that had rusted through and the bus was from the 70's with the old London transport 'stop' buzzers on it. It was a rough old ride but a lot of fun hanging out with the locals who just stared at us the whole journey non stop.

The chicken bus has bars on the windows to keep you from escaping.

   Next day Kathy declared the town was a right off and could not muster the energy to go back into town and amuse ourselves. (we could not even find anywhere that sold beer!) and I was inclined to agree but cabin fever soon set in so I went on the towns heritage trail which visits all the old colonial haunts up on the hill that did not get bombed in the war. Kathy declined the trip and frankly she made the right decision. After a couple of drab war memorials I went in the government museum which had mock ups of how 'an English house would look like in the 30's'. It was drab and deserved none of my time although the walk in Chubb strongroom was kinda cool (like a big walk-in safe). Next a walk up the so called hundred steps to the top of the hill which turned out to be nearer 500 steps so someone could not count at the non-existent tourist bureau it seems. Here afforded good views of the scrubby town below and the tankers drifting into harbour but again was not even worth a photo. A visit next to a restored American authors residence that was quaint and I had the place to myself . The highlight was a home movie that the authors family had made about the war days in Sandakan showing footage of the invasion but when I got to the audio-visual room I could not get the film to play. Incensed by this as this was (as quoted by Rough Guides) the highlight of the visit I went and complained at the ticket office where a bored looking woman who was engrossed by her phone, managed the effort to look up and shrug her shoulders in apathy. This was not the response I hoped for so asked for my money back which she gave me with no fuss at all and went back to snap chatting some boy who she had randomly in her mind fallen in love with but who most likely had half the towns girls on the go.

American authors Agnes Newton Kieth's refurbished house.

   To console myself I ventured to The English Tea Garden which was a colonial throwback with servants dressed in Dickie bows with black and white pre-war costumes on a perfectly manicured lawn under a large tree. I treated myself to a pot of tea and a scone with cream and jam. The cream was weird and just melted in the heat and got absorbed into the scone which was also dry and nasty. The tea was nice though .After this I decided that I was trying to polish a turd with this town so conceded defeat and returned to the hotel to reunite with Kath for dinner in house which was actually good and cheap for a change.

The edible brick was accompanied by a cup of tea.

 By this time we had enough of this one horse town so booked a flight back to Kota Kinabalu. The flight was a late afternoon job so we asked the hotel if we could have late check-out. They wanted half a days money for 3 hours grace so we just packed and went down the cinema in town to watch 'Kingsman- The Golden Circle' which killed 3 hours and was a very entertaining film. It was classified an 18 cert film but we were curious when we saw kids and babies in the audience and kids playing truant off school. Different culture I guess? We caught the flight later and were glad to leave the boring unattractive town to get back to Kota Kinabalu.

More tea vicar?

Sepilok

We flew into Kota Kinabula from Kuchng but only stayed a couple of days as we needed to come back there to fly out again, but needed to get across Sabah to a place called Sepilok where all the jungle animals native to Borneo were hiding waiting for us to explore.Thus, we will review kota kinabula on our return. We didn't fancy the 7-8 hour bus journey to get to Sepilok so we took a flight instead which only took 45 minutes. You may have seen Borneo on t.v. showing all the endless expanses of jungle and the 'lost' indigenous tribes that inhabit these impossible to get to places but in reality over 70% of Borneo has been cut down and logged for the western demand and the land replaced by palm and rubber tree plantations which are intensely farmed which provide very poor habitats for the indigenous species thus they are killed as a consequence or driven out to smaller patches of rainforest where they can still live in the wild. Sepilok is one of these jungle areas where the jungle is protected by the government and conservation is at the fore front although I personally feel it's too late to save a lot of the native species from extinction in the wild as poaching still exists by the local people to fuel demand for body parts for the Chinese market and the locals also like to eat the bush meat as it is called and even catch the young ones and keep them as pets. One of the most endangered species is the Sun bear as when young is as cute as a button but grow up to be quite the opposite.

Even the Sunbears were begging for money from us. 

   Our first visit was to the Sun bear conservation project in Sepilok where Sun bears are rescued from the local villages that keep them as pets as it is illegal to do so. The villagers can be fined but do not understand the detrimental effect it can have on the bears so the center prefers to educate to try to preserve the animals still in the wild as they are an endangered species. The center rehabilitates them and them releases them back into the wild to fend for themselves in protected zones of jungle. The bears are kept in 'pens' which are fenced off sections of jungle where they are fed until strong enough to go back into the jungle. In reality this is the only chance to see a Sun bear as they would be impossible to detect in the wild and were hard enough to spot at this center but the guides are really helpful and point them out to you. They sleep in the jungle canopy so the center has built an ariel walkway so you can get an eye to eye level view of these amazing creatures. They are still a distance away so the staff have telescopes to pick the bears out for visitors and it was really frustrating trying to get photos with our crappy point and shoot compact camera but patience paid off and some of the bears would move around and when they did I made sure we 'papped' them and ended up with some OK photos which we were satisfied with.

Ed Sheeran loved it when the kids dressed like himself. 

  Next day we visited the Orangutan project which is basically has the same motives as the Sun bear operation but the Orangutans are not caged or penned and are free to roam the jungle as they please but staff at the center put food out on platforms and the apes can come and feast on the food if they wish to supplement their diet. There is no obligation for them to come back and on our first visit at feeding time there was no apes at all so did not see any. Luckily our ticket entitled us to another feeding in the afternoon so we went back to our resort which was only 5 minutes walk from the center and went for lunch and a swim in the pool because it was hotter than you could ever imagine and the heat soon tires you out. We did see an Orangutan on the way out funnily enough as it was on the roof of one of the out buildings of the center and the tourists which were still milling about which was not many, suddenly started getting in the face of the the ape with their cameras, it was like watching a pack of wild dogs hunting down its prey all armed with cameras as their weapons of choice. Of course these are wild animals and are unpredictable so should be treated with caution and as fast a lighting this massive ape turned on this Asian tourist and started chasing him about which made us laugh.The staff intervened and saved his bacon luckily for him but it was nice to see the tables turned! In the afternoon we went back to the second feeding and there were much less other tourist there this time and we were rewarded with 4 apes showing up at various intervals and 2 of them had babies which was a bonus and made for some great photos as a couple of times they came really close which was exhilarating for us both.

This bad boy was the best at doing shadow puppets.

   The only problem with hanging out in the jungle is the mosquitoes. It doesn't matter how much lotion you apply they always manage to get you. You sweat so much the lotion just runs off and there is no point reapplying it as your skin has a second layer of permanent sweat all over as the humidity is floating around the 90% mark all day and night. Another dilemma we were faced with was the sun was so strong and we needed to cover up or wear sunscreen. The sunscreen was also pointless for the same reason and covering up was not an option as the heat would soak any clothes you wore to saturation point pretty quickly and again overheat your body as well. So basically we were at the mercy of the mossies and they feasted on us like  kings. If it wasn't the jungle, than it would be the swimming pool, or in the shower was a favourite rendezvous point and if that failed they would get you in your sleep. The mossies here are particularly aggressive and would leave large welts on us unlike we had encountered before in other locations. I still don't understand why the locals did not get bitten. What is their secret? Mind you we were not the worst cases here, as at breakfast we used to see some real horror stories that used to make us wince in reaction to the pain they must be feeling. In fact we met one guy in Indonesia who had a bite which got infected and after 4 days had to have an operation to remove the septic puss which had built up but the hospital was so dirty that the wound got reinfected and his leg blew up like a balloon and he ended up with a hole in his leg so had to go and have another operation to try and save his leg which is when we met him and I can tell you it didn't look good to me. Anyway Kathy was feeling a bit below par the next day with possible symptoms of malaria or dengue fever but we hoped it was just heat exhaustion and she would recover after some rest. While she was resting at the resort I acquired a taxi to the rainforest development centre which is a swathe of protected virgin rainforest with massive towers built into it where you can get up into the canopy and search for exotic birds and admire the amazing panoramas of the rolling jungle. It also has walkways suspended up to a 80 meters high so you can walk amongst the canopy. Total amount of exotic birds seen = 0! Needed binoculars really to see anything so just enjoyed walking through the jungle and did not meet another soul on my 3 hour walk.

Stork billed kingfisher about to dive.

  When I returned to the resort, luckily Kathy was still alive so that was a relief. She had picked up some virus/chesty cough but as there was no doctors here so we decided to see if it would pass on its own as the fever had subsided and she was feeling a bit more chipper next day. We then took another taxi to the Proboscis monkey sanctuary which is basically a vast area of protected mangrove swamp that is the prime food and habitat of this type of monkey. They are weird looking as the males have large droopy noses, fat bellies and brightly coloured genitals. It was an expensive excursion for us and we were debating whether it was going to be worth the money as the monkeys are completely wild and you can never be sure that a wild animal is going to make an appearance in the short space of time that you frequent its habitat. It was a fair distance away but as we have searched and failed to find this type of monkey before on our travels and the monkey could only be found wild in Borneo we decided this was our last chance so off we went.

This Proboscis was REALLY pleased to see us arrive.

 There is a visitor center which had a viewing area where the staff would 'call' the monkeys out of the jungle with a weird sound which was a cross between a Tarzan bellow and a cat miaow. When we arrived Kathy and I had the whole place to ourselves and it was not long before the monkeys were swinging through the trees and coming towards us. The staff then rewarded the monkeys by giving them fruit to munch. After a short time there must have been over 50 monkeys all around us. They were going mental all around us squabbling over the food. A big male appeared and restored order with some hefty grunts and a few slaps to the younger more boisterous juveniles. We got to work with the camera and got some killer photos even with our primitive camera. Then the tour groups arrived and ruined the ambiance with there enormous telescopic lenses and jockeying for position with each other. Again it was like watching animals trying to take photos of .......animals! Kathy and I took a back seat in the shade and watched the melee unfold with amusement which was as much fun as watching the monkeys play. The groups were soon ushered away as they always put tour groups on a tight schedule and we had the place to ourselves again except for one other couple. Then my phone rang so I retrieved it from my pocket and as I answered a call from our Taxi driver who had been waiting for us for the last 2 hours,then suddenly a massive male Proboscis swung down from the roof above us, onto the veranda where we were standing and came pounding on all fours at full speed towards us in an aggressive stance while the taxi driver was quizzing me about how long we were going to be but I could not answer him as I was rooted to the spot in fear with the phone still to my ear as the seriousness of our position was being processed by my very slow brain. I just stood there and Kathy stood next to me with eyes as big as saucers ready for the impact. But at the last moment the monkey grabbed the balustrade and hooked himself over with such amazing arm power which would not be possible in a human and catapulted himself over the railing to avoid us. Kathy and I just looked at each other in stunned amazement. The taxi driver was still on the phone shouting "hello Mr Daz are you still there ? and it was all I could do to compose myself to answer him that we would be another 10 minutes once we checked our smalls. It turned out that a rouge macaque monkey had infiltrated the proboscis troupe and the male was chasing him out of their area.

"It's not you at all, it's me....I just fallen out of love with you and it's nothing to do with your nose"

We then returned to the Orangutan center to the relief of our bored taxi driver and saw a couple playing near some outbuildings which was a bonus then returned to the resort for an afternoon by the pool to get munched by mossies. Overall, we really enjoyed our stay in Sepilok. There are no shops or restaurants so you have to sleep at a jungle lodge resort. We chose Sepilok Jungle Resort as it was the cheapest of course, as they are all expensive but we enjoyed the kitsch  rooms which are styled in the 70's but we found this old school set up really charming. You are tethered to the resort via food but it turned out the food was really good and cheapish for the remoteness of the location. The pool was a welcomed addition and most days we had the pool to ourselves as it is now out of season here now.  At night we used to go out on our own for 'night safaris' with our trusty new touches we had just bought and used to be hassled by rabid dogs mainly marauding around the streets.The taxi drivers had told us that many a tourist had been bitten by these dogs recently so we kept our distance. One night though we did come across a family of what we think were fruit bats (as they were huge!) swooping around us and feeding on the fruit in the trees. Next stop Sandakan.(so we can count our mossie bites!)