Kuta,lombok.

So we’re on Gili Air and our hotel guy Jonny said pay me the money upfront and I will organise you a private driver to take you to Kuta in Lombok for a very reasonable price. It seemed a good deal shopping around as it was even cheaper than the shuttle bus and we could have a private driver. “OK” we said and handed over the money the day before we left as we believed he worked for the hotel so could be trusted. At this point Jonny went AWOL! We constantly hassled the hotel owner ‘uncle’ to where Jonny had gone but were responded to with vague grunts of Jonny will be back at some point. By now Kathy was smelling a rat and it wasn’t my 2 week old unwashed sweaty t-shirt I had on which I had the philosophy that if I was sweating so much every day and night what was the point of putting a clean one on as it would be dirty in half an hour. The man they call uncle was still being evasive and Kathy’s cortizone levels were rising fast so being Mr Fixit I went in search of Jonny, ‘Oh where has my Jonny gone’? Being the bloodhound I am I cornered the little creep and demanded action and answers. I presented him to Kathy and one of her stern scowls reaped all the results we needed and Jonny was now our pet puppy and bought to heal.

come on in the water is fine

 As it goes Jonny was a diamond, took us to the boat, bought us tickets, waited with us for nearly an hour making small talk and even had the driver meet us at the port when we dismbarked at Bangsal in Lombok with a personalised name card and a phone call to ask if we were happy with the service. A pang of guilt did pass through my soul but it soon passed as we climbed into the car with the driver whisking through the monkey forest whose inhabitants were munching on sugary doughnuts along the side of the road that were being thrown out by the locals in a van just ahead of us.  

oohhh, man in a skirt.

So many beaches,so little time.

 Now this is what we came to this part of the world for. Lombok turned out to be what we expected Indonesia to be. Vast rolling jungles, wild animals everywhere, empty roads, some of the best beaches we have ever seen and cheap. The home stay we booked at called Kuta Circle was a real surfer hang out with dudes hanging out at breakfast just in their board shorts and impressive tans, trading stories of awesome barrels, swells, wipe-outs and injuries. Kathy and I listened with intent at the one one-upmanship of the brotherhood who traded verbal blows with each other trying to be a little more uber cooler than their peers. We were going to learn to surf here and join the brotherhood so we could trade breakfast banter but this came to a crashing halt as we suddenly found out all our credit and debit cards had been put on stop and we were running out of money. Lets just say the situation became a little more stressful when the only way we could unblock them was to call the UK and speak to the call centre. We purchased a new SIM card for the phone which apparently did international calls but in reality did not so ended up buying a Skype membership and waited for 26 minutes to be connected to Halifax call centre which was appalling to unblock the first one. Nationwide were excellent as they called us back on the phone (even when I gave them the wrong number) and sorted both our cards. Barclaycard were also excellent. 

ahh,grasshopper!

 We hired a motorbike when the cards were sorted and spent the days ripping around the coast road encountering unbelievable vistas and incredible beaches both east and west of Kuta, lying on powder white sands, swimming in bath water temperature sea, drinking out of young coconuts, drinking beer and watching surfers wipe-out on the reef. This was what Bali should have been but was not. The week went in a rush of sunny days and balmy nights without further event apart from being chased by a persistent monkey across the cliffs above Tajuung An beach trying to steal our lunch. I must say Kuta has been my favourite place so far on our travels.

One day we did take the motorbike up to an ethnic village called Sasak Ende in the hills with a guide and he took us on a tour of a Sasak village which was really amusing as he tried to answer questions about courtship, marriage and sexual relationships within the tribe. They have a very strange way of doing things which made us laugh a lot with the guide. 

Everywhere I go the kids wanna rock

Overall, Kuta was one of the cheapest and easiest places we have stayed. £2.90 a day to hire a bike, just under £13 for a big air-con room with breakfast and free coffee all day, and it was easy to score great food for less than £2 each. Petrol was only 47p a litre! The sun shone everyday/all day, there were no crowds even though it is peak season and the roads empty. The only negative thing was this is all about to change as the whole seafront is being dug up and turned into a mega resort for rich Arabs with a massive mosque being built and a GP circuit , new roads were being built everywhere and the whole town will being ruined with the influx of Australian backers funding the changes to turn it into another faceless and charmless luxury resort for the time starved vacationers who they hope to attract. Paradise never lasts! Next stop Flores.